Camille’s C-section Story
Hi, so good to be back. I am just enjoying kind of recording off the cuff. I was doing a script in the beginning. But I just found that that is not necessarily who I am. I feel like I can be more my authentic self when I'm going off the cuff. So here I am, it might not make sense. I might go all over the place because sometimes I go off on a tangent, but I'm just going to be okay with that. Because, like the premise of this podcast is I'm imperfectly perfect. And I'm not looking for becoming this perfect person. It's all about progress, because there is no perfection. It's all about just getting better at your craft. And how do you do that by just doing it. So anyways, this is an episode that I am not dropping on my typical Wednesday. I am dropping this on Friday, because I want to get a couple extra episodes in there because it's a seryan Awareness Month, like I said in the previous episode, and I've had three C sections. So I would like to share my journeys with you guys. So today I'm going to talk about my Camille's C section journey. Camille is my second daughter. She was born March 28 2015. So I had I had a great pregnancy with her I was actually the fittest I had ever been in my life. That's when I was really practicing powerlifting and I did like competitive powerlifting. And I was I don't remember if I was doing jujitsu at that time, or if it was after she was born that I started. It was after she was born anyways. So I was in great shape. So I felt really good. But then I can't remember how many weeks maybe I was like 15 weeks or close to 20 weeks. And then I had started like spotting. And it wasn't a lot it was just a little bit but you know, if you see any blood and you're pregnant, it's normally not the greatest sign. So we had gone in for at the 20 week ultrasound and they had actually found that I had a placenta previa, which meant that my placenta was fully covering my cervix. So the placenta was in the way for you know, it was like essentially at the opening of the cervix, which the cervix is, you know, where the baby comes out of. So at that point, the doctor told me it was dangerous to have a vaginal birth because that's what I had voiced to her. And anyways, they didn't support vaginal birth after C section at that hospital or practice. So at that point, she said, Let's schedule your C section. And so we did, because she made it seem like I didn't have a choice. And you know, she never even told me that it couldn't move. She just said that was what was gonna happen. And that was it. So we went through my pregnancy and I actually did bleed a couple more times after that. And it wasn't like ever crazy amounts of blood. It was literally just like, a couple drops of blood in my pad, never anything to fill up a pad ever. So I had gone for another ultrasound and they said, you know it wasn't fully covering, but it was still in the way of my cervix. And so I did have to take like a I think it was two weeks I took bedrest just to make sure everything was okay. And it was at what is the it was like 35 weeks I had spotted again. So I had gone in and had an ultrasound done. And you know they they actually didn't say anything to me about the ultrasound they were just like Okay, well, let's schedule your C section. And I didn't ask. So we went to schedule a C section and the doctor recommended we have her at 36 weeks just because I had had the bleeding and they didn't want her to we didn't want, they didn't want to risk her being born vaginally, because it would be dangerous, because of the placenta positioning. So we scheduled a C section for 36 weeks. So she her due date was April 20. So she was actually scheduled on March 20, to be born. So we went to the hospital. And they actually did another ultrasound while we were there too, before. And so I was just like, I had a lot of anxiety because I didn't want to do a C section again. But you know, I felt like I had no choice. And you know, everybody made it seem like I didn't have a choice. And it was this was the safest route to go. So you know, I was trusting their judgment, I was trusting the recommendation, because I didn't know any better at the time. It had been 10 years since my first C section. So yeah, I was just really nervous. And I was in really good shape, I did feel really good throughout my entire pregnancy. So I was just ready, I was ready to meet her at that point, because everybody made it seem so dangerous. And that like something was gonna go wrong. So I was very concerned, you know, with her well being and after they did the ultrasound, they said, Oh, her lungs look good, she doesn't need any steroids or anything to make sure that they're fully developed, she should be okay. And so, you know, I felt comforted by that, because I really didn't want to have to give her steroids if you know, it wasn't necessary. So anyways, the day of the, like I said, the day of the C section, they did the ultrasound, we waited to be prepped and everything for that. And it was scheduled. So it wasn't anything like my first my first was, quote, unquote, an emergency. So it was very crazy and stressful. Which this felt stressful too. But it was in a more controlled environment. And the circumstances were very calm. And, you know, it was just not crazy. So you know, they took me back, and they put the spinal in which I hated every single time because you have to stay still, you got this big belly in front of you. Well, my belly wasn't that huge at that point. But you know, you have to like round, you have to round your back. So that you're kind of like, like how a cat looks when they're like scared and they jump up like they seen a dog, like your back has to be curved like that, because they have to insert the needle in the dural sac around your spinal nerves that contains cerebrospinal fluid in your spinal column. So it's you have to be very still. So the placement is basically perfect because it's like centimeters, the space where they have to put the needle in. So they have to be very accurate because something could you know, happen. So anyways, they inserted the spinal and then shortly after that, they helped me lie down. And then they once I was numb, they inserted the catheter into my urethra, because you know, I was not going to be able to fill anything so I couldn't pee on my own terms. So they answer to that to make it easier. And then I remember they pinched my skin with tweezers or something like that to make sure that I was numb. And once that happened, then everything kind of started rolling. They put the drape up. They started they put the like iodine all over my stomach to sterilize the area before they cut. And then they actually started cutting before they brought Javi in which I thought was weird. But he remembers walking in and they had already cut me open. I didn't realize it at the time because I didn't feel anything. So he sat by my head and then it was very shortly after that when you know Camille was born and I didn't see her I just heard her crying. And it just felt very it was cold. You know it was literally cold in there. But the vibe was very cold. I remember the two doctors because there was my doctor. And then there was like an assisting Doctor who, you know, I had never met anybody besides my doctor that was in the room. So they were just talking to each other the whole time. And it was unrelated to my C section completely, which I did find annoying. I was just like, okay, and I'm just sitting here getting cut open. It was like, it was like, I wasn't part of the process, you know, and giving birth. I don't know, for me anyway, not feeling part of the process. It created this disconnect. This just sterile, weird feeling where, you know, things were just happening to me, I wasn't involved in any way. After I heard Camille cry. I told Javi, you know, hey, go with her. And so he did. And he took a lot of pictures for me. We did get pictures of her actually coming out, I think I can't remember if he took pictures, or if it was like a staff member that took pictures, because I do have pictures of like my stomach wide open and Camille being pulled out. So he had gone with her, they weighed her measured her. And she was actually five pounds, 13 or 14 ounces. So she was almost 16 or 16 pounds, she was almost six pounds, and at 36 weeks. So you know, that was a pretty good weight for her. After they put a diaper on her cut the cord and wrapped her in a blanket they gave her to me, or brought her over to me. And I was able to see her and kiss her and all that stuff. And gosh, you know, and I know this is my baby, like, I love her so much. But I had no emotion like I didn't cry, like I felt like I needed to cry, or I should be crying at that point. Because it's such a happy and beautiful moment. But I didn't I just didn't have those feelings, which makes me feel so bad to think about. But that's just how I felt, you know, this big disconnect between my baby being born and myself. So I did keep her with me the entire time Havi held her because it's very awkward to try to hold your baby when you're laying flat on a table. And then you have to be still, you know, because they're stitching you up once they were done, which I don't remember how long it took maybe 20 minutes. 30 minutes, I'm not sure. But after that they gave me something which is weird, because they didn't tell me they gave me anything like pain medication. But they did because then I started feeling like super loopy and weird. And just like out of it like in this fog. But we did go to the recovery room. And then, you know, I tried to breastfeed her. But she was so sleepy and high was so sleepy at that point, too, that it wasn't really didn't work out well. And I once I think we were in the recovery room for like, an hour, I want to say and you know, somebody came in there and they were just like, monitoring my blood pressure and all my vitals and all that stuff. It was like a nurse and then Javi and I and the baby of course in the room. And they just monitored me and then once that hour was done, they were we were able to go to in room and be by ourselves. And I kept trying to feed her but she was just not having it. And they kept saying oh well she's early. She has a really small bowel so it might not work out. So already they're like telling me like this might not happen because she's a preemie and I was just like okay, well I'm gonna keep trying. And so they actually went to get the hospital grade pump. I believe I was a medalla pump like the hospital grade one. And so I kept trying to pump I literally pumped like every one to two hours. But I never got any more than like, a dropper to like, it was really sad and discouraging for me. But she was good. She was fine. And you know, we went home I think it was the day after. So I think it was like the day after that was when we were released to go home that I was able to take Camille home to meet Angelina. So at that point, she wasn't able to go to the hospital hospital because of her age, because she was 10 at the time and they didn't allow anybody under 12 or 13 which was really annoying too. Because I couldn't be with her. But anyways, when I got home she was able to meet her little sister. And you know, it was really nice and beautiful and I feel like I did heal relatively well. And I think I attribute that to being in such good shape my whole practice NC. So I ate really well. And I really took care of my body. So yeah, the healing process was not bad. I mean, like when I was in the hospital, I think I was up that night, like less than 12 hours after the surgery, I was up and walking around. So anyways, but when we got home it was. But anyway, so once we got home, it was really, it was tough, because I was trying to try and really hard to breastfeed. But it was just not happening. I mean, I pumped and kept trying to breastfeed her for like two months, close to three months, I want to say, and then after that, like, I never got more than an ounce when I was pumping, and she just really did not take to the breast. So, you know, I had decided to call it quits, because it was really taking a toll on my psyche. And I was just getting really depressed and discouraged. So we stopped, but to so today, Camille is eight years old, she's doing amazing. I do notice that she has a lot of like respiratory issues, and I have researched into that. And that could be an effect from being born via C section. So that is one thing that I've noticed, that I feel like could be attributed to that. But besides that, this girl, she is like the tallest in her classroom. She is hecka smart, like she loves math and reading and all the stuff that kids normally don't like about school she loves. So anyways, thank you so much for listening to my second C section story. If you'd like to know more, or have any questions about it, please feel free to reach out. And with nothing else to give today. I will see you next time. Bye. Oh my gosh, I feel so honored that you took the time out of your busy day to listen to that episode. I really hope that you liked it or something resonated with you or you learn something new today. Make sure to hit subscribe so that you don't miss an episode. And if you'd like to connect with me, go ahead and go to the show notes and click the link to connect with me. Thank you so much and I hope you have a beautiful day. I will see you next week.
