Twin Home Birth… Yes, it’s possible!

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My name's Lauren, Petra and I actually met through our doula training program, which was a lot of fun. It has been a lot of fun, but as far as how I. Started off in the birth world. So it really started with my first birth and I worked in the medical field prior to having my first son, but I found out while researching, because I am.

So much into finding out all the information beforehand. So I did research upon research upon research before having, having my first son, and realized that I wanted a home birth. And as I was doing this and doing all the research, I kind of started to fall in love with birth and hearing everybody's birth stories and their journeys, whether it's, it was good or bad, I just had.

This drive to want to learn more and learn more. And then after I had my son, I knew I didn't wanna go back to my previous job. And so I fell into birth photography because I had started my photography business before my first son. And. Once I fell into birth photography, I slowly started to look at other aspects of birth work and doulas and postpartum doulas.

And you know, there's a lot of aspects throughout my life that come into, um, different aspects of birth work. So it just felt right after having my first son and. So I now do birth photography, videography, and I also do postpartum doula support. At this time, I don't do birth support, although that is definitely a possibility, but right now I'm leaning really heavy on supporting families that are expecting twins since I am actually 22 months post my twin pregnancy.

I love that. So how long has it been since your first birth now? So he will actually, my first son will be five in July. So it was July of 2018 when I had my first son. Wow. And then did you become a postpartum doula right after that? I didn't. I really stuck with birth photography until just before, probably about six months before I gave birth to the twins.

And it's when I really. I didn't have a horrible postpartum with my, with my first, but I really saw the lack of support that was out there for moms. And I mean, I felt it too, and I felt the, you know, you decided to have a kid, so it's on you. Not the, it takes a village and we all need to lift each other up and care for each other and support each other, and I really feel like that is lacking, especially here in the United States.

You know, you look at the traditions of all the other countries and they, you know, you are in some countries not allowed to leave the bed for four to six weeks where you need to stay in bed. You don't shower. You stay with your baby in bed, you're brought food. You know, things like that that, okay, that's not necessarily doable for most people here in America.

But that doesn't mean that we can't create something that feels just as nurturing. That helps us thrive and connect and really get back to, not get back to you, but actually get in tune with who we are now as a new. Yeah. Yeah. And it's hard, especially when you're going into your second pregnancy, and so you have like a toddler and then you, well, you gave birth to twins, so you didn't just have two kids to then take care of, you had three.

So can we kind of get into that? How was that postpartum journey now, my twin postpartum journey was very rough. So I actually didn't get my, so with my first, I had a pretty smooth postpartum. I didn't have postpartum depression. I did placenta encapsulation with both my first and my second. I did my research.

Again, I, I, I, I'm, I'm a nerd. I researched and read and all that kind of stuff. So I did my research before my first and loved the idea of doing placenta encapsulations. So I had no problems after my, My pregnancy with the twins was really rough, and then after having them, it was a lot. It's just, it's double of everything.

Yeah. And a lot of people say when you have one, it's hard because that transition to one and then you have two. And it's hard because you go from kind of easy having one to then having two. They're like, but when you get to three and after, it's all the same. But I've dreamt from one to three, and that was definitely.

It's definitely a handful. And it was challenging cuz my, my son, my first son was around three years old and he was going through a lot of advancements with his emotions and he really needed that help with co-regulation. And I'm not gonna lie, I was not the best at co-regulating at times with him because my emotions were all over the place.

So where there were a lot of times where something happened and then it was just me and him hugging on the couch and me apologizing and. You know, we're, we're not perfect. We're all human and we have to embrace that, and we have to let our kids see that too. So there was a lot of that throughout the pregnancy.

A lot of exhaustion throughout my pregnancy, and then postpartum was. A lot of exhaustion. My first son slept really well. He was sleeping 10 hours by six weeks and then the twins didn't sleep through the night until probably about six months ago. Oh wow. So it's, it was definitely different. And it's harder when there's two, cuz then they wake each other up and so, Definitely.

That's exactly what I thought about too. Like just because one's up feeding doesn't mean the other one is up. So then they could be on opposite schedule. Is that what you experienced? So luckily I actually got advice from. A couple different people. So one of my really close friends had twins at the same time.

I had my first. And so it was just kind of, it was a little comical, us calling them. And cuz they used to say, well, we're part of the twin club. And I called 'em and I was like, you know, I guess we're gonna be part of your special club. And they were like, oh shit, you're having twins. So it was, it was, it was really funny.

Oh, I love it. I love it. Um, so, but she gave, you know, Again, I researched a lot and a lot of people said that, you know, when one wakes up to eat, you wake the other one up to eat. When one's sleeping, you really try and get the other one to sleep too. And if, when you're able to keep them on that schedule, you keep your sanity somewhat.

Right. So, and then you might be able to get a little bit of sleep rather than, like you said, once feeding the other one feeds two hours later when you keep 'em on that schedule. It definitely does. Yeah. And then so did you have like family to help you with that or, so we lived up in Virginia at that time and luckily we had, my mother lived nearby.

My hus, my mother-in-law lived nearby, so they were, you know, my postpartum period was really nice and we had. We had really, we had really good boundaries with our first, where we told, you know, we sent an email out to everybody, even our parents saying, for the first 72 hours it's just gonna be Jacob, me and the baby.

So no visitors smart. After that I like, but it again, research and listening to people how they were like, I was so overwhelmed. I had people over at my house 12 hours later and I was like, oh, I do not want that. Yeah. We put that out there. We had people come help with the dogs, things like that. Um, but then with the twins being a little bit more comfortable and it was just a different situation.

And we had my son, who luckily slipped throughout the whole birth. Um, my mother-in-law came over and she was there ready when he woke up in the morning to take care of him. So she was there during the birth, not at the birth, but there in the house during the birth. Mm-hmm. And then my mom was there right around the same time that right after the twins were.

So, oh gosh. But those were was so nice. Yeah. Those were the only ones that we were like, all right, you can be there, like close to her around the birth. We're okay with it, you know, this time. And they of course didn't ask to hold the babies. You know, my mom's like, I'm gonna go fold some laundry. Like, oh, thank goodness.

Yes, please. Oh, that's so amazing. I love when they just like read your mind. Yes. It feels like they read your mind or maybe they, they learned from your previous, like experience with that. Yes. Oh, well that's so good. I think that's it because I think my mom was just a little bit upset with me when I remember.

I remember saying to her the first time like, well, we're not allowing, allowing visitors for the first 72 hours. She's like 72. Really? Yeah. That's just really us kind of laying in just to collect ourselves. You know, it's our first and everything like that. She's like, all right, fine. And she didn't, she didn't give any flack or anything like that, but I just got that sense that it was like a, but I wanna meet him like a S A P.

Right. Which I understand, but that's not the best necessarily for the family. Exactly, and I think it's super important to set those boundaries ahead of time. Because you obviously, you sent that email before you gave birth, right? Yes, and I, about four weeks. The perfect thing to do, like if you even have an inkling that you wanna have like some type of boundary set in place, like do that while you're pregnant because when you've already given birth, that can just feel.

Another heavy thing on your to-do list to get done. Yes. So, yeah. That's so important. I love that you mentioned that. Yes, it's, and that's one of the things that I actually talk to families about is like create healthy boundaries. If you know that you want privacy and you want that bonding time, really connect with your significant other.

Make sure that they know what you want and that you guys are on the same page. Like me and my, me and my husband sat down and we were like, what do we want? And I was like, I don't want people here for 72 hours. He's like, okay, well I want somebody to come and walk the dogs cuz I don't wanna have to walk the.

And so we reached out to friends and they came and walked the dogs for the first two weeks. And you know, the family didn't come for 72 hours and it's your birth and your postpartum. And if you don't tell people what you want, how can you expect them to know exactly? Sure. You may, you may upset someone a little bit, but all you have to do is say, this is so me and my family thrive.

And if they have a problem with that, then there's something going on on their end. Exactly. Because if they love you, And they care about you and you say, this is for my health, this is for my baby's health, this is for my relat, the health of my relationship. This is a new journey. I need time to settle.

They should understand. They should really be able to say, you know what? I respect that. I respect your decision. Yes. Again, exactly. Not everybody's gonna do that. Yeah. And again, like you said, do that early. Do that four, six weeks before the birth, send that email out. Don't try and handle that. Once you've had the baby, you're not gonna wanna be text messaging people going, oh, sorry, not now.

Yeah, so exactly, because then that just creates like this thing like, oh, well, they didn't say anything before, so they might take it personal or, mm-hmm. Whatever. Even though it has nothing like you said to do with them, some people take it upon themselves to be like, what? What is it with me? Right. Right.

Yeah, it's, yes, absolutely. And then if they have a problem, they hopefully will talk to you about it and then you can. Yeah, if you didn't explain it enough in the email and you know, it just, it really does. Yeah. And so I know we kind of jumped ahead to the postpartum because we were talking about like how you're postpartum doula, and you know, all that good stuff.

Yes. Um, but I really wanna hear about your births. Oh, yes. You've had the home births and then you had the twin, twin home birth. Yes. Which is Oh my gosh, absolutely amazing. So, yeah, let's, they were, Oh, they were, they were both amazing, to be honest with you. So I'll actually start from the beginning because I had multiple miscarriages before I got pregnant with my first son.

Mm-hmm. Um, they were early, they were in the first trimester, but it took about a year and a half to two years for me to get pregnant with Declan. Okay. So was that natural? Natural or, yes. Oh, okay. So, It's funny because I have people go, well, you did get assistance, so I went to a OB gyn. Mm-hmm. That helped a little bit with fertility, so he did Clomid and we did two doses of Chlo, Clomid.

I took Clomid one one month. Mm-hmm. I didn't get pregnant that month, and then I got pregnant the following month. Okay, so some people will, will say, well, the Clomid caused you to ovulate the next month, or something along those lines. Yeah. And if you don't mind, um, just for people that don't know what that is, could you just kind of give a little brief description of what that is?

SoloMid is a oral medication that you take that actually helps you ovulate. It actually gives you a higher probability of having twins because a lot of times if you are ovulating, possibly just not at the right time, you can actually end up producing more than one egg at that time. So they always tell you, be aware, you can always have more than one, which it didn't happen for that with that one for me.

Mm-hmm. Um, so. And I actually, my OB, G y n, right before I got pregnant, did some blood work on me and said that I'm, I actually have a very mild version of P C O S. Okay. So that's probably why I had the difficulty that I did at the beginning. But once I got pregnant with Declan, I again was doing all this research, realized that I wanted a home.

And I went into the OB G Y N for my records, and I remember going into his office and I was nervous because this OB, G Y N helped my mom get pregnant with my younger brothers. I actually have a 18 and 20 year old younger brother, and he helped her get pregnant and actually helped deliver. Both of them in the hospital.

And I for sure thought he was gonna go, he was gonna go like the guilting me, like, oh, you know, I helped your mom out and, you know, I helped her birth your brothers. This, it would've been amazing to, to, you know, to your births. But I went in and instead of that, he goes, I helped you with infertility. You know, do you know how much it costs to go to a fertility specialist?

Um, I lose out on my money because you're not doing your birth with. What, and I immediately had no guilt. I was like, and please give me my records. I'm leaving. Wow. You made it all about money. It felt so wrong. I was so angry when I left. I called my husband. My husband does not get upset, and he was like, that is ridiculous.

That is like, I'm so angry right now. And I'm like, it's okay. We're just not even gonna, we're not even gonna worry about it. So we went on to, um, interview some midwives, and I scheduled my first interview and interviewed my first midwife and fell in love with her. I didn't do. Interview after that. Mm-hmm.

Uh, and what was amazing is she actually came to the house for all the prenatal visits, which so Nice. Is absolutely amazing when you're pregnant. Yeah. You don't wanna have to drive to an office. Mm-hmm. I mean, and I was still working full-time. I worked up till the day I went into labor, actually worked a full day.

Um, doing anesthesia on dogs and cats. And then at six 30 that evening I got home and relaxed just enough and started early labor. And I was in early labor for about 24 hours. And then I was in active labor for about five and a half, six hours. Okay. And then I, now that birth was amazing. The only part that I remember that was a little bit difficult is I actually had to hold.

Pushing for about 10 to 15 minutes. So I had a lip. Oh. And so I had to stop the pushing. Mm-hmm. And when your body is telling you to push and you have to hold on it, that's pretty difficult. It's really challenging cuz it's a natural reaction going through your body. Um, but once I did that for about 15 minutes, I was able to get into the birth tub and I had a waterbirth with my first.

Oh, I love it. So then did they manually move the lip or did you try different positions to get that? I think I ended up on my hands and knees and then I, then they asked me if I wanted to get in the tub and I like jumped at that. Mm-hmm. They joke around because we were in a three level townhouse and I was up in my bedroom and the tub was being, uh, we call it our kitchen den.

It's right next to the kitchen. But the pool was getting set up on in the kitchen den, and they asked me if I wanted it and I said yes. So they started to get me ready and they said they were collecting their things and turned around and I was already walking down the stairs all by myself. They're like, wait, wait, wait.

We need to go with you. Oh my gosh. So I got all the way down into the tub when they were still at the top of the stairs and. I said I had ti, I had a time limit. I had to get down there before the next contraction started. Yep, exactly. Nope, I totally get that. So I made it all the way down there, got into the tub and the water during birth is my happy place.

So I loved the water birth. Hmm. And then once I got into the tub, it was shortly after that, my husband ended up getting into the. And shortly after that my son was born. Oh, beautiful. And then, so did you have a birth photographer too? I did not have my birth photographer for my first, and I regret it to this day.

Yeah, no. Yeah, I feel that I regret it to this day. I think about it because it was, I mean, it was magical, like the waterbirth and everything. I was not actually able to do a waterbirth with the twins. Oh, okay. So, As I said, the pregnancy was a little bit rough with the twins. Mm-hmm. But I didn't think I was going to go into labor as early as I did.

It wasn't anything bad. I just, I went 41 weeks and five days with my first, so I thought at least like, okay, even if twins are early, I'll probably make it to 39 weeks. But with the twins, I ended up going at 37 5, so 37 weeks and five days. Mm-hmm. And once I was expecting to be able to use the tub that my midwife.

She lends it out to every, like anybody that's in labor. And um, I did not have it for that labor. So that's my one kind of regret for my twin pregnancy, which is not horrible. Right. So she had rented it out to somebody else because you were Yes. 30. Uh, yeah. Yep. Because, and she typically says, she's like, I typically don't rent them out until you're 38, 39 and after.

Mm. And so, which makes sense. Right now. And I look at back, back at it now and I was like, I should have just bought one and had it on hand. Dang it. All right. So are we gonna get to hear about your twin? Twin? Yes. Okay. So twin birth mm-hmm. Was, um, I actually had had some Braxton Hicks or they call it, um, was it irritated uterus.

Oh, okay. Yeah. So just, I'd wake up in the middle of the night and my uterus would just be, I mean hard as a rock, no contractions. Mm-hmm. But just hard as a rock. And I'm like, what is going on? Probably about two weeks before I went into labor, I woke up in the middle of the night and I text messaged my midwife like, this is what's happening.

I can't get back to sleep. She's like, have Jacob go out to the store, get a bottle of red wine and some dark chocolate. And I was like, what? She's like, Go have him go get some red wine. It'll help you out, it'll calm you down. And then some dark chocolate. Mm-hmm. And I was like, okay, maybe the dark chocolate was actually my idea.

But I know the red wine was definitely from the midwife. Love it. So my husband went out and it, I mean it's like 12 30, 1 o'clock in the morning and me and my husband are laughing our asses off, sitting in bed, drinking red wine and eating chocolate. And it's one of the memory, I will remember that forever.

Mm-hmm. Just some of the stuff that we're, we were sitting there like, what is, what are the chances that at like 36 weeks, we would imagine sitting in the bed drinking red wine, just shooting the shit. No, I love that. That sounds perfect. Oh my gosh. It was pretty amazing. So at 37 and five I actually had, with how rough the pregnancy was.

Mm-hmm. I wasn't able to do my freezer meals like I would've liked to. And that whole weekend before, so it was a Monday that I ended up going in Monday, no, Tuesday morning cuz it was at 1:15 AM It was a Tuesday morning that I went into labor and that whole weekend my husband and mother-in-law spent the weekend meal prepp.

For the free for everything that goes in the freezer for our postpartum, which ended up being amazing. But I was super stressed out about it, and so it was kind of a like Mother's Day gift to me. Ah, that they did the fill the freezer. Wow. So they did that over the weekend, and then I had a massage on Monday.

Mm-hmm. And she did some techniques on my stomach because I was just very, I was still very tight. She did some releasing on my abdominal muscles. I mean, it was phenomenal. So that happened, my appointment was at one o'clock in the afternoon, and then at 1:00 AM the following morning, one 15, I woke up to.

What I questioned if I actually peed myself a little, but I did not, it was actually my water. It did not fully break. Mm-hmm. But it was one of the things, I woke up and I was like, oh, wow, this happened, hasn't happened the whole pregnancy. And then I was like, wait a minute. That might not be what happened.

Yep. So I text my midwife and she's like, all right, well if nothing's happening, just lay down. You know, don't worry about it. Um, so I laid down and five minutes later my first contraction hit, and then, So I got into our tub, which was not, it was a larger tub, but it was not conducive for labor at all. Very thin, long and thin.

Mm-hmm. Um, so I laid in there for probably about an hour. My midwife got there, PS she had prepped my husband to how to do cord clamp. If one of the twins was born before the midwife got there, because she's like, I have a feeling your labor's gonna go pretty quick. Hmm. And I remember when she turned on, she's like, I'm just gonna talk you through how to, how to, um, do that even though I'll probably be on the phone with you.

And his eyes got big and I looked at him, I said, you know, you can do this. He's like, yeah, I can do this.

So she actually left a birth that she was at. It was a first time mom. She left was local. She left a birth that she was at to come to my birth while the second midwife was getting up and getting ready to be at my birth. So they do two midwives because they're twins. Oh, okay. And so she got there and, which is fantastic.

She actually added the second midwife in between when I had my first and when I got pregnant with my second with my twins. So, perfect. And I knew them both because I saw them both throughout the whole pregnancy. I met with both of them and she got there. The second midwife got there, I got in the tub, then I tried the shower.

I was on the toilet for a little while. You know dilation station? Mm-hmm. And. I honestly, in birth, I don't feel comfortable standing. There's something about it I have to be sitting or laying down on my sides or hands and knees. That's very comfortable for me. But I ended up on the bed, same exact position that I birthed my first in, which was laying on my side with one leg lifted.

Mm-hmm. And the first one was born at five oh six. Wow. So that's what, four hours? Yes. After. Oh wow. Yes. And then the second one was born at five 19. Wow. Yeah. So how was that for you? I mean, because I know how it is to give birth to one and you went back to back. Yes. I, the funny thing is, is twin pregnancies are, There's a lot of variable, if you're giving, honestly, birth in general, it's, you know, you don't know how long your labor's gonna be.

You know, you wanna control, you wanna be in control as much as you can, especially because it's your body, but there's some control that you have to let go. Mm-hmm. You have to let your body and your baby and how everything is going, like the connection between the two do its own magic. With twin pregnancies, that can be a little bit hard because I could have done back to back like I did, or I could have given birth, given birth to one, and then not given birth to a second one until seven hours later.

Mm-hmm. You know, there's, there's a huge variable there. Right. And not knowing really didn't bother me, but. I honestly, since the beginning, even with my first birth, I was very much, I, my body knows what to do. I don't question, like I didn't question myself or my body because I know my body knows what to do.

Mm-hmm. Did I know there was a possibility that I may end up in a hospital, that there may be an emergency? Absolutely, but I also had more faith in my body than I did. Something else happening in an in an emergency happening, like my body didn't know what I was. Does that make sense? Oh yeah, definitely.

And I think along the lines, we have lost that connection with our bodies as a society. Yeah. Because we're kind of conditioned to put all of our trust in these doctors and you know, we ask them, okay, well what should I do with this? Or, oh, how do I look on here on the monitor? Or whatever. You know, the situation may be.

We lose this connection with our bodies and our bodies literally know what to do if we just let it. Yes. We just let it do what it knows how to do and let birth unfold the way it's gonna unfold. Exactly. So I think that's, that's painful. And I think mindset has a lot to do with do with it too. And I did a lot of mindset work.

I meditated a lot through both of my pregnancies. I did a lot of visualization on what I wanted. Um, I took hypnobirthing as. As my, uh, childbirth education class that I did, which I loved, it really brought me to having a healthy mindset. Mm-hmm. And knowing and trusting myself. You know, when you do, whether you do guided meditations or you do, uh, mantras or anything like that, like you can really connect with yourself and your body and start to really feel what's going on and what feels good and what doesn't.

Just know yourself really well. But I remember holding my first, and I was holding him, and I was so happy because you know, you have that, and then normally you end up cramping a little bit because then you're gonna deliver the placenta. Mm-hmm. But I didn't have that, so that was different for me. So I gave birth to my first, and I'm holding him and it's great and I'm connecting with him and probably within like three to four minutes the contractions start back up again.

Mm-hmm. And I remember I'm holding him and I'm connecting with him, but I like to kind of grasp onto things. And so I was holding my hand straight to not grab, cuz I'm, you know, I'm cuddling him and I remember getting to the second contraction and going, I don't want to, but Jacob, I think you need to. To take the baby.

Like I just, this, I need to get back to myself now. I need to mentally, you know, go deep. And, and it was perfect because my husband knows, he kind of knew he would probably end up with the first baby on him mm-hmm. As I was delivering the second baby. Um, right. So he was there ready shirt off, ready to just skin to skin, you know, because we knew that's what we wanted.

Yeah. And. And I felt comfortable with that too because that's what we had talked about. You know, that was a really big thing for the birth is me and my partner making sure that we were on the exact same page with what we wanted, whether it's something with the cord clamping or skin to skin or anything like that, you know?

And I didn't know what the protocol was for cord clamping as far as twins go. Oh yeah. And the fact is you actually should do a cord clamping on the first baby delivered quite shortly after. Because you actually can't wait until all the blood is out of the umbilical cord. You actually wanna make sure the other baby has enough blood.

So when I talked with my midwives before that, they're like, listen, we understand we're not gonna clamp the cord and cut it right away, but. We will probably have to do it about 30 seconds to a minute after, and I was like, Hey, that's longer than what a lot of people get. I'm okay with that. Right. You know, I gotta make sure the other baby's okay too.

Definitely. And so I can't tell you how long it was until they, until they clamped and cut the cord. That's another thing, like I said, that's different with twin pregnancies. So there's a lot, there's a lot of aspects that are different when it comes to twin pregnancies. And then the second baby, as I said, was born at five 19.

And shortly after that. This is funny cuz in my first pregnancy I wanted it very small, not many people, so it was me and my husband, my midwife, and the birth assistant. Mm-hmm. And then you get to my twin pregnancy, and it was my birth photographer. Me, my husband, I had two midwives. I actually had a midwife student, I had a birth assistant, but I mean, I'm including myself, but that's seven pe.

That's a lot of people in a bedroom, right? Oh yeah. That's a lot of people in a bedroom. Mm-hmm. But I was totally fine with that. At that point. I had had my first, I didn't have an issue and I even said they asked, you know, we like to ask so-and-so to come. Our student midwife is that okay? And I actually met her.

I met everybody that was in the room. Um, but I met her and I had no problem with that. I know that she, you know, twin pre home twin pregnancies are not very common. Mm-hmm. Yet, fingers crossed. I'm hoping that they become, love how you put that in there. Yes. Yes. Mm-hmm. I see. I see birth photography and videography.

I mean, there's more and more of the twin pregnancy home births coming up, and it makes me so excited. Yes. Makes me so excited, but I had no problems with them being in my birth space. Mm-hmm. And it has to be, it has to be a decision you make and you have to feel comfortable. And I knew that I was gonna feel comfortable.

Right. But that took me time to realize that from having my first, from going, oh yeah, I feel good now. And I've been in other women's birth spaces. You know, yeah. Even being in other women's birth spaces have made me feel more confident and comfortable in my birth space. Yeah, and I feel like it also helps that you were able to meet these people and build a relationship with them beforehand, because it's not like in the hospital, in the hospital a lot of times.

You don't even get your doctor that you've seen for your prenatal appointments. It's like whatever on-call doctor, and then whatever nurses are there. Yes. So yeah. I love that It makes it so much more personal. Yes, absolutely. It really does. And honestly, the postpartum portion and every midwife is different.

We actually had both midwives kind of took turns coming to see. For my first pregnancy, we had, the birth assistant came 48 hours after Declan was born. We had the midwife come at 1210. Oh, I'm not gonna, I don't remember so clearly right now. I think she came at 10, 10 days, two weeks, and then six weeks. Oh, okay.

So multiple checks. Yeah. And the same thing happened. I actually had a couple more with the twins because they came to do the newborn screening. So they collected blood and then um, they added in a mental health check. Oh, okay. But they did, and they just, honestly, they just came in, sat down, how are you doing?

How are you feeling? What thoughts have been going through your. How are you and your husband? Wow. How's the relationship been like? It was, it was fantastic. It was really fantastic and I think that's just something you don't get when you go and you have a hospital birth is you actually have one visit, you have six weeks and that's it.

And from what I've heard, again, I haven't, I haven't had a hospital birth, but from what I've heard, it's very impersonal. Oh yeah. Like, I'll just share my experience, like, you know, cuz I had the three C-sections before my first vaginal birth. And when I went in, I don't know, I was expecting kind of like the questions, um, that you got, um, like, how are you, how are you feeling?

Or, you know, like that. But no, I, it was a, it was a man who I had never met before, not even in any of my prenatal visits. And he was just, Oh, you had a vaginal birth after three C-sections. Oh, congratulations. And then, um, he was like, I'm just gonna check your vagina, um, just to see if your tears healed up.

And I was like, okay. Um, and he like, was just like very cold and didn't even say a word. And when he was done, he's like, okay, it looks fine. So, um, yeah, you're. I was like, okay, like that's it done with what? Thank you. My body is still postpartum. Like, what am I done? Tell me what I'm done with. Mm-hmm. Like that's just, it's, there's no guidance and there should be some, even though, We should have a plan and we should know more about postpartum.

That's what a lot of postpartum doers are trying to do is get that information out there of mom, this is what, or mom or family, whoever. This is what you really should, uh, try to achieve postpartum and come up with what your vision is postpartum, cuz it's gonna look different for everybody but. You also don't get the support from your medical staff, from the medical staff, and that's where I think a lot of families that go in and have the hospital births and think that the doctor knows exactly what is best for them, and then they expect maybe some guidance afterwards.

They don't get it. They don't get anything, so you're kind of left in the trenches where you have a baby. You're trying to get used to every, your hormones are trying to get back to normal. Your body's trying to get back to normal. You're trying to learn how to take care of this little one, and you're not given any guidance.

No. None and no, it's really sad. Yeah, it's really sad that we don't have a better structure. Topo support postpartum families. Like, yeah. He didn't even, like, they didn't even give me any like, um, referrals to like see anybody like lactation or. Nothing. Just nothing, nothing. And I was just like, wow, this is so weird to me.

Yes. And it's sad because if you're not educated in birth, like the way we are, you know? Yes. We're, we dive deep into birth work and postpartum work or whatever the work is that we're dealing with or learning. A typical family's not No. Like, they're just not, like, they don't have the reason to do that. And.

In their five minute prenatal appointment, there's never any discussion on, okay, here's how your postpartum healing's gonna go, or here's this for your, you know, mental health after or for breastfeeding or anything. Yeah. Yes. So it's crazy. It is crazy. And how easy would it be to throw a list together of like, even just a, are you feeling mental stress?

Here's three resource. Even online, like it doesn't even have to be a specific person, but just online resources. Yeah. For everything. Like, oh, like pelvic floor, diastasis, like, there's just so many things that, yeah, I'm happy that are becoming more mainstream and women are being informed about this on social media, on, you know, finding out from birth workers, but it's just really unfortunate that.

That unfortunately, a lot of families have to wait until their second pregnancy to realize what they missed in their first. I can't tell you how many people I've talked to and they're like, I just had no idea. My doctor never told me, and I feel like that's kind of where the disconnect is, is they put so much on the doctor that they don't realize.

The doctor doesn't take that responsibility. That responsibility is in your hands. Mm-hmm. But the doctor doesn't tell them that. Doctor doesn't say, you should take a childbirth education class. You know what? You should look into planning your postpartum. Have you looked at what your options are with birth?

Mm-hmm. Rather than putting all of your autonomy in somebody else's hands. And I think that's really important because, I mean, when I had my first baby, I was, I had her a month before I turned 17, so I was still 16. Yeah. And I was a child myself, and I don't remember them. Ever like being like, you should do a childbirth education class, or, you know, you should prepare for your late, nothing.

Like literally nothing. So I went in there being a child, a teenager, you know, I was just like, well shoot, people get birth all the time. I'll just know how to do it. Well, yeah, my body does know how to do it, but when you're in a hospital setting, They're, they want you on this timeline, especially because my water had already broken.

And so I was on this timer and you know, they were like, okay, you know, like, let's speed this long. So that led to my first C-section, and then it wasn't until actually my third, after my third that I started educating myself, which is crazy to think of now. I'm like, oh my gosh. There was all this information that I just didn't look into.

Yeah. But now things you just don't know. Yeah. And I mean, you know, you don't know what you don't know, right? Yeah. And I think that's why it has led me to have this fire inside of me. I'm like, this needs to be mainstream. Like this shouldn't be something that we have to search for and. Dive deep and find all these different people to look for advice or information from, like it should just be out there.

Yeah. And yeah, so that's what I love about all these like birth worker pages and meeting all these birth workers cuz everybody's trying to just get it out there. Yes, absolutely. Yeah, absolutely. That's one of the reasons why I'm so, I'm so intent on creating more things. Twins. A lot of the things that I found about twins when I was pregnant was, well, your twins are definitely gonna be in in the nicu.

You're definitely gonna go into labor early. You're definitely probably gonna have a C-section. You can try for a vaginal birth, but you're probably gonna end up with a C-section. Your doctor's gonna wanna induce you at X weeks. Like it was all medicalized advice. Mm-hmm. It was all controlled in a hospital.

And I remember when I messaged my midwife that I was pregnant and she sent me for the ultrasound to confirm around, around 12 weeks to confirm there was a heartbeat and everything like that. And coming from the medical field I was in getting the ultrasound and it was during the lockdown. So I was not, I was, could only be there by myself.

My husband was sitting out in the car the whole time. Oh wow. I've seen, at that point I had probably seen thousands of ultrasounds. So I was sitting there looking at the screen and I was like, oh shit, that's too little blueberries. That's the thought that went through my head. Mm-hmm. Cause you know, at that stage they look like just little blueberries.

Right. And I was like, that's too. And then I'm like, no. You know, you try and like convince yourself. You're like, yeah, no, no, that can't be. It's gotta be something. No, that's definitely. I can't talk myself out of it anymore. And then I'm like, excuse me. You know, it's quiet in the room. Excuse me. Um, is that, are, are there two?

And she's like, I'm sorry, hold on one second. I'm measuring your cervix. I'm like, okay, I'll be patient. And in my mind I'm going, she may not be allowed to tell me. Like, that may be protocol. She may have to wait for the radiologist to read the ultrasound. Right. So for anybody out there, With twins if the ultrasonographer did not jump on.

Oh my gosh. There's two. It may be protocol that she's not allowed to say that until it's been confirmed by a radiologist. So, um, when, so when I, I'm sitting there waiting there patiently, and even though I knew I could have had twins, I'm freaking out. Like in my mind I'm going, oh my gosh. This is crazy. I cannot believe there's no way.

Like there's just no way. And she finally looks at me and she goes, so are you asking if there's two fetuses? And I said, yes. She goes, I believe there is, but let me just look and confirm. And then she continues to look. And yes, there's definitely two. And I probably looked calm on the outside, but in my head, You know, I've got with creating some of the, um, twin content.

The first thing that went through my mind when I was thinking about how to help people out when they first find out about twins was, oh shit, there's two. So like, I have a freebie out there that helps with mindset and, um, you know, mentally preparing for your twin pregnancy and your twin birth.

Postpartum with twins and really for the rest of your life. I'm really trying to set up these families to succeed and accept. Okay, so I'm really curious, how do you think, uh, the best way a partner could support their spouse in pregnancy, in the birth, or in postpartum? So I'll start with pregnancy. Okay.

Actually, I'll find, I'll start with finding out that you're pregnant with twins. Okay. My biggest thing with that is be very open to how they feel. Be very open to their emotions and everything that they're feeling, whether they're positive or negative. And sit down and talk and talk about how you both feel because your partner may be terrified as well.

Being able to sit down and share your emotions, that gives you a deeper connection with your partner. So that would be my first suggestion. Once you find out you're pregnant with twins, don't hide your feelings. Don't pretend like you have to be happy. Don't pretend like, oh, this is gonna be the best thing ever.

If inside you're screaming going, oh my gosh, I am scared. Talk with them. Really open up with them would be my first suggestion. For the pregnancy partners, you've gotta jump in there and pick up some of the heavy load. Most twin pregnancies are very hard, meaning the emotions are actually close to double what it is, so a lot of things can be worse.

You know, they. With a single pregnancy, you may not have morning sickness. You may, you know, like anything from constipation to vomiting, to nausea, to just so many things, all of those can really cause debilitation. I, I'm gonna say, because there were days where I couldn't get out of bed. Mm-hmm. I'm not saying all twin pregnancies are like that, but it's a possibility.

So being able to support your partner by making sure that meals are ready. Or if you've got a toddler taking kind of the brunt of that, maybe even asking family, Hey, the first trimester's really hard, do you think you guys could bring over a couple meals? You know, the having family help out with prepping meals and helping out with the toddler and things like that is not just for postpartum.

When you've got family there and if they're willing to help reach out and say, we're having a difficult time, we really need your help, and taking that off the. You know, the one carrying the twins that's having this difficult time, it's very beneficial, right? So that's for pregnancy. Take the childbirth education class.

Both of you should be taking the childbirth education class that is gonna help through the birth, that's gonna help through the remaining part portion of the pregnancy. That's gonna help tremendously postpartum. You can't, not one person cannot handle taking care of both babies by themselves. So making sure that you are informed and present during the pregnancy, in the childbirth education course, in the birth being there and helping them plan the birth, meaning, sure, you know, I was the one that was pregnant, so, Was the main one making decisions, but I also asked my husband's his opinion, even if we didn't necessarily go with what he said.

You know, like example, even with my first, I was like, Hey, I really want a home birth, but I wanna make sure you're comfortable with it because he was my rock. He was the one that was supporting me. And if he doesn't feel comfortable, how is that gonna help me? So make, make sure that you feel comfortable.

Don't try and. If you don't feel comfortable, what will make you feel comfortable? What will make you feel comfortable for home birth? What will make you feel comfortable for a hospital birth? What will make you feel comfortable for a birth center? Birth? Mm-hmm. What situation, you know, after you've done your research, what, what is comfortable for you?

You know, another big one after the birth, this is one that me and my husband we had a little bit of a a back and forth on is if you're having a boy circumcising, you don't wanna have that discussion. After the birth, whether you're in the hospital or you're at home, you don't wanna have that after the fact, especially after you've given birth and your hormones are all over the place.

Right. It can, you can get very emotional, you know, you should know these things. You should do your research and know these things before they come up. Yeah. And then postpartum is making sure that there's nutritious food in. Making sure your childbirth education class will come in very, very handy postpartum when it comes to how to handle the twins, how you know, techniques on changing diapers, techniques on different things like that.

So your childbirth education typically touches a little bit on postpartum newborn care. So having the same knowledge and being on the same page and knowing what to expect from each. That's a really big thing is if mom is expecting, well I'm expecting dad's gonna be there for the first two weeks and I want him bringing me my meals in bed and I want every time, I want him changing diapers for the first two weeks.

If you don't verbally communicate that to each other, then your first two weeks are gonna be a little rough. Exactly. Cause you're not on the same page. Yeah. So communication is key, and you know what The partner, the partner can say, all right, I totally understand you want me doing this for the first two weeks, but I really wanna do it for four.

Oh, okay. Or, I really understand. You want me to do that for two weeks? I don't think that's gonna be great mentally for me. Can I have, can your mom come over for a Saturday and then I can just get out of the house? Yeah. You know, maybe I can go, I need to go to the gym. I'm not gonna go to the gym for the first two weeks, but I Maybe you just want that Saturday in middle, in the middle of those two weeks, you know, like really talk about it and make sure that you're on the same page.

I know I've said that like five times, but really, Everybody has different preferences, so I can't say specifics. No. So it's really your preferences and what you both come together and agree on. Yeah, and I think that's great because I think. A lot of times unfortunately, we feel like they can like read our minds.

Yes. Or you know, maybe, maybe we say it in our minds and we think we already said it to them. I know I've, yes. And um, but so I think it is important to like talk to them beforehand, like, and make sure you guys are on the same page even though you've said it multiple times. I think. Deserves to be said multiple times cuz it is just that important and that helps to try to avoid like resentment.

Yes. So you guys don't have resentment. You don't have resentment towards your husband for going to the gym and you know, he doesn't have resentment towards you for having these expectations that he never realized you even had. Exactly. Yeah. You know, you set yourself up for failure when you don't communicate and you expect these things and then you get in a fight.

Yeah, you know, and having expectations. I mean, I always love the quote that setting expectations are predetermined failures, because if you put, I mean, you can put an expectation out there, but if it's not realistic or you haven't communicated to the person that you're putting this expectation on, It's an automatic failure.

You gotta set yourself up and your family and your postpartum period. You gotta set it up for success cuz then you decrease the chances of depression, of stress on your relationship on, and I mean, there's gonna be a little bit of stress anyway. You guys are, in the beginning, there's. You know, you don't sleep as much as you're used to.

You don't have your relaxation time as much as you used to. You know, you've got a little one to care for. Hormones are all over the place, so as much as you can set yourself up for success and know that the f all the feelings that you're feeling, whether it's fear, you're scared. You're elated. All of those emotions are normal.

You're dreading the, like, you're dreading it. I can tell you, everybody out there has felt it. Mm-hmm. Everybody that's all of a sudden found out they're having twins has gone through the rollercoaster ride of all those emotions, and it's perfectly normal. You really just need to sit back and look at those emotions and figure out why you're feeling.

You know, really connect and, and it comes back to connecting with yourself. Do you know what I mean? Really digging down deep and going, why am I so scared of having twins? And if it's because it feels overwhelming, then you can really think about it. Like, yeah, it's because it's gonna be overwhelming having twins.

Mm-hmm. And that's okay cuz it is at times it is a hundred percent overwhelming having twins. It is a totally different, a hundred percent. Than having one. So knowing everything that you're feeling is normal is the first step. Okay. And then going in and really working on your mindset and cultivating a positive mindset, and that helps you out.

That helps the bonding with your babies, it helps your pregnancy, it helps decision making. I mean, there's just so many things that. Working on your mindset can help with, and honestly, this could work with somebody that's expecting one, cuz even somebody finding out, oh my gosh, I'm pregnant. You have that.

You may have those exact same feelings and thoughts. Yeah. So definitely. So I think you touched on a good point cuz I know when I had my first, I was like, oh shit, I'm pregnant. So yeah. Even if someone's not having twins, I think your freebie. Yes. Amazing. And I will obviously link, um, your freebie in the show notes.

Yeah. Uh, so if somebody would like to connect with you further or work with you, how would they go about doing that? So, I have a couple different offers. Um, I only do birth photography and videography locally. I would actually, that's not true. If somebody wants to pay for me to travel to them for that, I would totally, I would love it.

I would love capturing their story, but right now I do local mainly. Mm-hmm. Um, but my website is www.laurenestudios.com. You'll notice when you get to the page that the, uh, my brand has changed over the past six months. It's actually nourished birth and beyond. So on Instagram, I'm at nourished under underscore, birth underscore beyond.

And then on Facebook, I'm nourished birth and beyond, and as far as twin, kind of what's happening up and coming with my, uh, twin offerings is I have my twin freebie. I am two months away from launching my childbirth education course for twin families fighting. I am very excited about that. Um, that's been something that's been.

In the, in my mind for probably about eight plus months, and I'm really excited that it's finally coming. To be here in the next two months. And then I've actually just recently decided that I'm going to add a one-on-one navigation call for twin families, and that's really to dive deep on anything that they wanna dive into.

And that's anywhere from, I'm pregnant, I just found on pregnant with twins, and I want to talk with someone about that and how I'm feeling. Anything that has to do with childbirth education or their pregnancy, anything that has to do with what their options are with birth in their state, uh, planning postpartum, planning their birth.

So if somebody wants to talk about getting kind of a birth plan set up for whether they're doing a home birth or a hospital birth and what their options are, I absolutely. Love talking about that and planning that out. So, um, really it's just any support that a family expecting twins, any, any support they need.

That's beautiful. I love it. I can't wait for people to find you because I mean, I've gotten to know you and I think you're a pretty amazing person, so. Aw, thank you. You're pretty amazing too, Patrick. Oh gosh, you're sweet. Um, but anyways, so we'll go ahead and wrap it up unless there's anything else you wanted to add in there.

Listen, I could talk for hours and hours about birth. That's when I. That's when I knew I had to be in birth work is when I could talk for hours and hours and hours. Yeah, I know. I think my husband's pretty sick of hearing about birth stuff, but you know, I'm pretty sure my husband's on that same boat.

Maybe we'll have to get them connected. Yes. All right, Lauren, well, um, obviously anything you mentioned, I'm gonna stick it in the show notes for, um, anybody to find you with ease, so, excellent. Thank you so much again. No. Thank you for taking the time outta your busy day to come chat with me. Absolutely.

Thank you. Thank you. All right. Bye bye. Oh my gosh. I feel so honored that you took the time out of your busy day. To listen to that episode. I really hope that you liked it or something resonated with you or you learned something new today. Make sure to hit subscribe so that you don't miss an episode.

And if you'd like to connect with me, go ahead and go to the show notes and click the link to connect with me. Thank you so much and I hope you have a beautiful day. I will see you next week.