Manifesting My VBA3C

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Well, hello, my darling friends. I'm so excited for you to join me in today's story. So today I'm going to be sharing my VBAC story. So this is my vaginal birth after three C sections. This was quite a journey. I mean, There's so many things that happened along the way to this journey that I'm so grateful for because it has honestly forever changed me.

It has changed my heart, my soul, everything. And I never, when I started this journey, I never thought that that would be possible. Or, you know, that this would be something that could change me, but it has in the most beautiful ways. Okay, so I will start with my pregnancy journey. So I did have a pretty good pregnancy.

I do remember I was sick for about, it was like 16 or 18 weeks. And I had never been sick like that. Um, the morning sickness was crazy with this boy. And that's how I pretty much knew for sure he was a boy. Because of the morning sickness. And I just felt it. I felt it in my soul like that this was gonna be our boy.

You know, since we have the three girls, it's like, um, a typical thing that people say is like, Oh, I bet you're hoping for that boy. And yeah, I thought it'd be cool to have a boy. But to be honest, I really didn't care because if it was going to be a girl, I was like, I'm going to love this baby no matter what.

So it really doesn't matter to me. And I know girls. So Yeah, I felt very comfortable with that. Um, so yeah, I was sick for about those 16 weeks and I was actually hiding it like I was driving school bus and I remember feeling so sick, like the smell of the exhaust and we were wearing masks at the time when we were driving.

Um, so it did actually help a little bit. I loved it and I learned so So many lessons from that job. It was incredible, incredible experience. So many amazing people, so many amazing kids. I actually miss it. Like I kind of wish that I could go back just cause I had so much fun hanging out with the kids on the bus.

But anyways, that's, that's kind of for a different story. Um, so yeah, I did have trouble with the nausea for, you know, almost, well, it was four months. Yeah, because then it was like after that, I think it was 16 or 18 week mark. That's when I started to feel amazing. And I finally felt like myself. And this whole time I was preparing for a VBAT because I knew that's what I was going to do.

And I was seeing my same doctor that I had, um, My second and third baby with, and um, as I've mentioned in previous episodes, not VBAC supportive whatsoever. Especially since I've already had three C sections at this point. She was totally against it and voiced that very clearly. Kept telling me that it was...

Not a good decision and I should really think about it because, you know, there's instances where babies die and which is, you know, it does, it does happen. I'm not going to say that I was being naive and didn't realize the fact that yes, it does happen, but the chance of it happening was very minimal. And I knew that because I researched like mad, like I'm, I'm not kidding.

I would research stuff on VBAC for hours. every single day. Um, I reached out to, uh, my local ICANN chapter. The International Caesarean Awareness Network, and they have chapters, different chapters in different cities and there's a person who is like the head of this chapter and you can come into contact with them and they can help you with local resources to help you with finding a VBAC supportive provider, and she was freaking amazing, like I'm so grateful for her because she really tried.

Thank you. Cause there was no provider in this area that was supportive of VBAC. So she was even looking like, I'm in Modesto in Central Valley, California. She was looking in like Sacramento, which is like about two hours away from me. Depending on the part of Sacramento. She was looking in San Francisco, um, Monterey, Santa Cruz, even Los Angeles, which that would have been a crazy drive that could be anywhere from 5 to 8 hours depending on what part you go and the traffic.

Uh, so anyway, she was really trying for me and You know, I got into contact with quite a few of these, and I actually called all the hospitals in my area and then the hospitals that she referred me to, and I called them, like, I literally got on the phone and called them and was like, Do you guys support VBAC, blah, blah, blah.

All of them said no. Um, they were like, a couple of them did tell me, like, if you come in and you're in full blown labor, like, we can't. Turn you away and I was just like okay well that was in a sense comforting to me because at the time I had considered having a home birth. But, like, when I brought it up to Javi and stuff, he wasn't really on board with it, so I, in that, in that sense, I had respected his, yes, concern, you could call it, and I didn't look any further into it.

Now, and I've said this before, if I had a redo, I would have a home birth 1000%. I would have hired a midwife and just had a home birth because what I know now is that having a home birth after c sections is safe, especially if you know, you're kind of fearful in the sense that you want like a medical professional there, a midwife is a great option because They are medically equipped for an emergency and they can kind of help you realize the signs of like a uterine rupture because that's like the biggest thing, the biggest concern when you're planning for a VBAC is uterine rupture.

Which, if you look at the research, is a less than 1% chance of happening after one c section. Once you go after one c section, it goes up minimally. I think it's a less than 3% chance after three c sections. I could be wrong, um, but I will look it up and put the statistics in the show notes. But to me, That was a better decision than having a repeat c section.

So anyways, I decided, you know, okay, we'll give birth in the hospital. So that's why I was calling all these hospitals and um, seeing what my options were. Because it really wasn't in our, it didn't make sense for us to drive hours and hours. Because of finances, because we do have three other children, and when you're in labor, you never know how long it's gonna take.

So, you know, childcare and all that stuff, it just wasn't, didn't feel right to us. I did decide to change insurances, which did take a little while. Uh, once I did change insurances, I changed to Kaiser. Kaiser Modesto, which is a VBAC after two C section supportive hospital. So in my head, I was like, well, that's way better.

That's only one less C section than I've had. So they must be more supportive than, you know, obviously the doctor who has a VBAC ban at the hospital. So I switched insurances and was on Kaiser insurance and it took a little while to get started on that insurance. So I think it was, I was like 30 or 33 weeks when I started care with them.

And in the meantime, I was working in the background, like I was working on my mindset. I was working on fear clearing because you know, there's a lot of fear surrounding having a VBAC. So I really worked on my mentality and my mindset and releasing those fears and you know, just blocking out all the noise because there was so many people that I would hear from that were unsupportive of it.

So after I had heard a couple unsupportive people in my life, I actually stopped telling people. that I was having or planning a VBAC. I only told like a handful of people and they were my biggest supporters and I'm so grateful for them. So that actually helped me because then I wasn't hearing all this noise and if anybody asked I would kind of like just kind of make an insinuation that like yeah I was having another c section or I just would sidestep the question completely because I didn't want to hear it.

I didn't want any fear, anybody putting fear into my mind, into my heart like I didn't want to hear it. And I would watch birth stories daily. Like, multiple birth stories. Like, um, people actually giving birth. Birth videos, like on YouTube, on Instagram. Um, one account that I love to follow, her name is Badass Mother Birther.

She's amazing. She's so just 1000% honest. And she's a VBAC mom herself who had a home birth, but she's such a huge supporter of physiological birth and being able to have your baby undisturbed without medical intervention as much as possible unless necessary. So anyway, she's one amazing account that I followed.

As I'm working on my mindset and everything, I also hired a doula because that was one of the things that I researched that people say help have a successful vaginal birth, uh, because having a doula actually reduces your risk of having a c section. by 39%. So I was like, Oh my gosh, I need a doula. So I hired a doula.

She was amazing. She had never had a VBAC client, but she's so willing, like so on board to help me through it. And gosh, she was a godsend at that point for me. It was beautiful. I cherish that relationship completely. Um, so anyways, I. I'm going forward towards that 30, 33 weeks when I started CARE with Kaiser.

So, I had a doctor assigned to me, or no, I chose her. Um, I didn't know her, I just chose her because I wanted a female, not a male. Just, you know, my own comfort levels. So, I went to the first appointment and she was like, Okay, I see you have three C sections, let's schedule you for your fourth. And I was like, No, thank you, I'm planning on having a VBAC.

And she was like, Well, you know, I don't know if you know the risks or not, but you know, like, it's very dangerous because you've had three c sections and we don't know how this will go. And I had told her, well, do any of us know how birth will go? Like, birth is very unpredictable and I'm willing to take that risk because in my mind, the risk is very low, especially if low interventions are introduced or no interventions are introduced.

then I have a high chance of having a vaginal birth. And she was like, well, I'm going to refer you to the maternal fetal medicine doctor and I'm going to have him talk to you about it. And I was just like, okay, that's fine. I understand the risks though, completely. And I'm still going to do it. And she was just like, okay, well, I'm still going to refer you.

And I was like, okay. So. I saw her for another appointment, and then she was like, Okay, so let's get you scheduled for your C section. And I was like, I appreciate that, but like I told you in our previous appointment, I'm not gonna schedule a C section. And, you know, I'm very polite, and I try to be polite even though I want to be, like.

Rip their head off . It's not in my nature. So I was very polite with her and I was just like, no, thank you. Like I know what I'm gonna do. I know what I'm doing, I understand the risks. And she was like, well, you're gonna die and your baby could die. And I was just like, okay, I appreciate your concern, but this is my decision to make.

And she was just like, okay. And then after that, never saw that doctor again. I. saw a different doctor or nurse practitioner for every single appointment after that. Like, I literally never saw her again and I saw a different person every time. So I never built any type of rapport with any of them. Uh, and then the next appointment I did see a maternal fetal medicine, medicine doctor.

I was like, hmm, okay, so I could have a uterine rupture, uh, during a VBAC and during a repeat C section. Okay, thanks for letting me know. So, you know, and I was actually surprised he was honest with me and, and told me that because nobody, no doctor had ever told me that there was a risk of uterine rupture.

While they're performing a repeat c section. So there's actually risks involved with a repeat c section. Like I mentioned, uterine rupture, that can happen as well. Uh, they can nick your bladder, they can nick other organs, and you can hemorrhage. You also actually lose more blood having a c section, rather than having a vaginal birth after c section.

So you lose more blood that way too. You know, there's, there's other risks as well, but those are just to name a few. So, you know, I moved forward through all my appointments, and it was really tough, to be honest, because after every single appointment, I felt almost defeated. I would cry, I would call Javi and be like, I had another doctor, and I had to go through my whole...

spiel again. And he was just like, all right, well, you know, you know what you're doing. I trust you. And, um, if this is what you want to do, like who cares what they say? And gosh, that made my heart feel so much better too. After I talked to him and he's really good at that. Like he supports me 1000% no matter how ridiculous, no matter how crazy, no matter how much it goes against the norm, he's there to support me.

So I knew I'd be okay. I just felt confident in that. So let's fast forward to my labor. So my labor started on July or January 28th. It was a Friday. And when I started feeling contractions, I was like so excited. I was beside myself. I was like, Oh my God, my body is actually doing it. Like I'm going to give birth to my baby today or tomorrow.

I'm so excited. And so I took a bath, a nice hot bath and that made me feel so good. I was listening to my hypnobirthing audio meditations, all the good stuff. And I had a candle going and I had tea like I was in the mood. I was Good. I felt ready. And so I went through that, that Friday night until about 2 a.

m. contractions off and on either every five minutes or every 20 minutes. I was like, okay, I'm going to try to sleep. Fell asleep. Woke up at 7 a. m. And I was like, Wait a minute. I'm not in labor? It's morning? Ugh! I was so like, uh, not defeated, but I just was so like, oh my gosh, I really thought it was happening.

Nope. Okay, so Saturday, going through the day, I'm like, alright, I'm gonna go through, you know, normal stuff today. I'm not gonna stress about it, not gonna think about it. Ate good meals, hung out with the kids, cause I knew that. You know, it had to be coming, labor was coming, and this was Luke's due date, it was January 29th, and I was just like, so excited, I was like, oh my gosh, I'm gonna get to meet my baby soon, and started having contractions again.

Often on same thing every 5 to 20 minutes, 5 to 30 minutes. It just depended and I felt good going through them. I did the same thing. I took a nice hot bath. Listen to my hypno birthing tracks and I was really in the groove drinking some hot tea. I was so relaxed and ready to go Saturday night. Again, until about, I think it was 1 or 2 a.

m., then my contractions piddled out, I fell asleep, and it was Sunday morning. And, same thing happened. Sunday came around, we were all hanging out, we took a walk to the park, we had gone to get frozen yogurt, like, it was a great, great day. We made some really good memories together. So, same thing happened.

Sunday night, my contractions piddled out. started, took a hot bath. Like I was really relaxed listening to my tracks. I was ready for this. And again, every five to 30 minutes, all night long. And it was my Monday morning, which was the 31st and I had a pre scheduled, uh, 40 week appointment. And it was at, I think, 30 a.

m. So, we got the kids off to school. Javi had taken off work because, um, he was going to come to my appointment with me. And then, I was having those on and off contractions, so I could not drive myself. I was not going to do that. So, we went together. And then, Uh, it was a nurse practitioner that I saw and, um, I had gone in thinking like I wanted a membrane sweep and then it was offered and I was just like, yeah, let's do it.

And cause I was like, I think a centimeter dilated and I don't remember, it was like 50% of faced or something like that. Um, so she did the membrane sweep, which is separating the membrane sac and it like. It releases hormones that typically jumpstart labor. Doesn't always work, uh, but, you know, it does, it did in my case, I should say.

So, once we left there, holy cow, I was in, like, full blown labor. I was having contractions and they were not stopping. It took us, like, 20 minutes to walk from the doctor's office to the car, which should have taken like five minutes or less. And Javi had to constantly squeeze my hips because I was having back labor and the labor pains, um, felt like they were going through my hips into my thighs.

It was crazy feeling. I've never felt anything like that ever in my life. It was weird, but it's a thing apparently. So I really did need that relief for every contraction. And so we had to stop many, many times. So when we finally got to the car, you know, we got home and I ate a really good nutritious meal.

I felt really good. Um, I was like on my yoga ball. I was just like swaying around. And I do remember my in laws came by. They like brought food and were hanging out for a bit. And I was just really good. I was, I kept going from, like, I started out in the kitchen, but then I migrated to my bedroom because I wanted to be, like, in the dark and alone.

So I went to my bedroom and, like, the only way I was able to, like, get comfortable was leaning over the bed. That was the only thing. And I think it was just because of the position that he was in, and that's why I had, like, the intense back labor, because of just the way he was. So. Anyways, I labored in my room, and I had, you know, texted my doula and told her what was going on, and I told her I would just text her when I felt like I needed her, but at the time it was beautiful, it was just like, me, Javi, and Leia, our youngest, at the house, and it was just, it was great, we were like, bonding and being close and intimate and it was great and I feel like that really helped my labor along because of all the connection, all the family, all the love and it was beautiful.

Also being in the dark, being in like my birthing cave, how I like to call it, was perfect affirmations hanging on the wall with little twinkle lights around them so it was serene. It was like dreamy. I think it was like around 1 or 2 p. m. when I texted my doula. I was like, hey, I, I'm, I'm ready for you because like we were going to have the other kids coming home and, um, Javi wasn't going to be able to give me like his full attention and I just really needed somebody for every single contraction because at that point it was, I was managing through it.

I feel like I really managed well. Like I was laughing in between my contractions and talking when I could. Like it was beautiful. It was so beautiful. It was everything I dreamt about. Everything I envisioned is how it went. My doula came. I don't know. I think it was like an hour later or so and, uh, my mom had picked up the kids and she brought them to the house and everything.

And so my mom was there and then, you know, it was like my sister came because I think she got off work early. I don't remember, but I remember she came and then. Like, I don't know, my brother was texting, he was going to drop something off for me or something. So then he came over, none of this was planned, none of that, for all of them to come.

But it was exactly what I needed. I felt so much love and comfort and calm. And that was... Exactly what I needed at that point. It was just so perfect. It literally felt like out of a dream and I felt like I was in this dream just going through my contractions so peacefully. And I was kind of making like moaning noises at this point.

And then my doula showed up and, you know, she was helping, like she brought her toolkit, you know, she had the essential oils, she set up the aromatherapy, um, the diffuser, she set up her diffuser to diffuse, I think it was lavender, and then she, um, had a rebozo, which she had tried that on me, like doing like a, they call it shake the apples.

That did not help. That was just like kind of like annoying. So I, you know, and different things I thought I would enjoy during labor, I did not. And so I think that's important to point out because just because you see something before you go into labor doesn't mean that you will utilize it. Because for me, it was hands.

That's what I needed. I needed somebody's hands on me like the entire time. So, you know, I, she was putting me in different positions, which was great. You know, it helped to kind of, um, get out of being in just that one position that I was comfortable in to just see if something else was helping. And I'm sure to try to like engage Luke, like in a better position or, you know, a more a position that wouldn't create that back labor.

And so I think it was like an hour or two hours after she arrived, then we tried the toilet or I had to go pee or something, but I was on the toilet and I did not want to get off. Like my contractions were so intense. And then they were like back to back. And I was like, Oh my gosh, these are so intense.

And then I remember she's like, let's just hang out on the toilet. So like. After I went to the bathroom, I like pulled my stuff back up and turned around and she got a pillow and so I was laying on the toilet, the backing of the toilet. It was amazing. Like, it felt so good to be right there. And I think it's because we're naturally conditioned to release our pelvic floor when we're on the toilet.

So I think that helped to help me relax everything down there. So that's why my contractions were coming so much more intensely and so much more frequent. So I stayed on there for a while and then all of a sudden I started shaking like uncontrollably. And I was like, I'm not cold. Am I cold? Like I felt like I was cold, but I was shaking.

And I was like, why am I shaking? She's like, it's okay. You're in transition. Like just give into it. And I was like, okay. And I don't know why, but I just needed that verbal, like just give into it. And I did. And it was like, okay, just let this happen. Just let it happen. And I remember there was like mention of going to the hospital and I didn't want to go like I've said this before, but I kind of wanted to have like an accidental home birth.

Obviously it didn't happen. But, um, so anyways, I was. It's just, um, I heard that and I did hear it multiple times and I heard it, you know, directed at me and I was like, I don't know, I guess, like, sure, yes. You know, it was just like, I didn't want to go cause I felt like I was doing so well in my space. But I felt like a little bit of pressure.

And I know it didn't mean to be put on me as pressure. Like they just wanted to, you know, do what was the next, next best thing, I guess, but I didn't want to go. But I just, I reluctantly decided like, okay, let's go. And I think it was like around five or five 36. I don't know. But I remember my little Camille, she was just like, I don't want you to go.

Cause she was like helping me through it. She was like telling me to breathe and she was trying to do hip squeezes on me. It was really precious. She was seven at the time. And oh my gosh, my sweet girl. And she was like crying when I was leaving. And I was like, oh, I really don't want to go now. But I was like, well, we're leaving.

I'm Sorry, when I come back, we'll have a baby and she, you know, that made her happy. But anyway, so we left and my doula followed us in the car. It was like a 10 or 15 minute drive. Once I got in the car, my contractions kind of stalled. And I think it was because I came out of my birthing cave and I wasn't as comfortable anymore.

Once we got to the hospital though, and I was walking, they kind of, you know, they, they got intense, um, and they had asked if I wanted. sit in a wheelchair, I think. And I was like, no, no, no, I want to walk because I wanted to continue laboring intensely. Like I wanted to walk so that because walking, you know, can help.

So I walked and, um, they had to test Javi for COVID. So I went up with my doula. And of course, immediately they're like, here's this. 10 I was like, no, I brought my own and they were like, well, it's our policy. Like put this on. And so I was going through, you know, contractions and everything. So I was like, uh, whatever our, so my doula went to the bathroom with me, helped me change into the gown.

I got more intense contractions as I was on the toilet. Um, cause I, you know, I went to the bathroom and I will never forget. I was sitting on the toilet. She's so amazing. And. I was like, oh my gosh, like these are so intense and then she was like, wrap your arms around me and so I hung my arms like around her neck and she squatted down to my level and I was just hanging on her and it did help with the intensity through that contraction and then, you know, we got out, they checked me and I don't remember, I was anywhere between like an 8 or I don't know, something like that, you know, it's a blur, it's all a blur when you're in labor land.

Um, so, yeah. They were surprised and I thought they were going to be like, Oh, you've had three C sections, you're, you know, whatever. I thought I was going to have to put up a fight, but no, they were like, okay, well you've gotten this far, like, okay, let's have a baby. And I was just like, Oh my gosh, I was so happy and couldn't believe it, but it was so beautiful that I wasn't having to fight like I thought I was.

So. After that, then Javi was able to come in, and my doula went out, and then they had another doctor check me, because I'm assuming he was like a doctor in training, or something. Um, so he checked me, and I was like one, one centimeter less than what the doctor said, or something like that. And I was just like, okay.

And he's like, and you have a bulging water bag. And I was like, okay. He's like, we can pop that before like I go off shift or whatever. And at that point, I was just like, whatever. I don't care. Like I'm laboring here. And I don't remember how close my contractions were, but I know I was like heavily in labor land, you know?

So once, you know, I got out of that triage room, we went into the laboring room. And I labored in there beautifully. I do remember there was lots of people at first. People were like talking, asking questions. Like, I don't even remember if I signed anything. I just remember like, I was just like doing whatever so they would hurry up and get out because I just wanted to be left to my own devices so I could just labor peacefully and calmly and, you know, the way I wanted to.

Which I did for a while. And then they did come in to break my back. bag, which like I said, if I could go back, I would not have that happen because I wanted very minimal, um, interventions. And then they did put a hep lock in my vein. Um, so instead of, you know, they put the needle in and then they start IV, the IV right away.

And I told them I didn't want that. I told them they could put the needle in, but I didn't want any fluid coming in into me because I knew, I knew the more things that you're hooked up to, the less you can move around and the more interventions. that you introduce because that is an intervention. The more you introduce to your body or let them introduce to you, uh, the more likely you're going to have more interventions.

So one intervention can lead to a second intervention, to a third intervention, to, you know, like a repeat c section. So I wanted little to no intervention. They did want to put a second HEPLOC in because I know they were obviously thinking I was going to have another c section and they were prepping me for that.

So, you know, at first I said no, but then, you know, my nurse, she was so sweet, but she said, you know, can I just try? And so she tried and she tried, like, I don't even know, like, 10 times or something, maybe more. I have no idea. It was a lot. And finally she was like, okay, I'm sorry. I'm just going to stop. And I was like, okay, thanks.

And also like my bra. So I had this like pretty like lacy bra on and it was like a nursing bra. Um, But I remember they were like, Oh, let's take your bra off because it's really pretty. And if we have to take you for a c section, like we're gonna have to cut it off. And I wish I would have just said like, No, shut up.

Like, leave me be because I can have whatever I want or don't want on. But I was just like, Oh, yeah, I guess, you know, I'm just trying to get through it. Because at this time, I felt like my contractions were pretty back to back. So I was like, Moaning through them and, you know, trying to keep a relaxed face because, you know, if you keep a relaxed face through your labor, keep, like, if one part of your body is relaxed, like your lips, it can also help to relax your pelvic floor.

So I was really trying to focus on that, just staying relaxed and loose and just following what my body wanted to do, following my body's lead. Um, So I don't, I don't know what time it was, but I remember at one point, I felt like I was climbing the walls, like I could not get it comfortable and they were highly encouraging me to stay in the bed because they wanted to monitor the baby's heart rate and everything, which they were very Okay, I get it because with uterine rupture, that's what they're looking for.

Uterine rupture, when it is happening, the baby's heart rate will get all funky. And just a side note, when you have like a uterine rupture, I know like I envisioned like just my uterus exploding. That's not, that's typically not how it happens. It's like rare for it to just like pop open immediately and it's an emergency.

Like sometimes, People can even give birth with their uterus open a little bit, because sometimes it can just start opening almost like it's unzipping a little bit and you still be fine. But anyways, that's why they monitor the heart rate is to see if possibly your uterus had ruptured. I mean, the best thing to do is make sure that you No, the signs of uterine rupture.

That way you can notice them yourself. And that's a big reason why I wanted to do have an unmedicated birth was so I could feel everything and feel if something didn't feel right so that, you know, if I did need a C section then. I would be able to say, hey, something doesn't feel right in here. You know, it feels different or whatever.

I wanted to get up. I wanted to squat. And they were like, oh, no, we cannot. Like, they didn't want me to get out of the bed. And I was like, okay, well, you have a squat bar. And they were like, oh, no, we don't. Or someone was using it or something. So I was kind of annoyed at that. I was like, what the heck? I can't even use the.

squat bar or something I want to use if I have to stay in the stupid bed. They did change the bed so I was like in a throne position, like they put it all the way up so I was like I was sitting in a throne, like I was a queen. Uh, and then there was like these handrails next to me, like by my thighs, which felt like a very weird position.

So I was like, I gotta push. And then like, I don't remember if I asked the nurse to check me or if she was just Like, Oh, I'm going to check you. But she checked me and was like, Oh, you're complete. And you know, like the baby's right there. And I was like, Oh, sweet. Cause I definitely feel him and like, I'm ready to push.

So I just like, she called people in and it felt like people came in like immediately and then I just like started pushing and they brought in the mirror and I like saw his head right there. And I was like, Oh my God, like I'm doing this. And then I just started pushing as hard as I could, like, I had no second thought about it.

I didn't think about, like, doing it slowly so I didn't tear. I just felt like I needed to push him out. So I pushed with all my might for every single push, and I think they said it was, like, five pushes, and then he, like, flew out. And then, you know, I had my hands down there and I pulled him up to my chest and it was just beautiful.

It was, I cried. I was so happy. I thanked God because that was one of the things that I really was trying to hone in on was believing in the higher power that was helping guide this decision that I was making. I really felt just so grateful. And of course, if you know Javi, when I said like, Thank you, God.

Thank you, Jesus. Javi goes. That's not my name. My name is Javi. I was like, Oh my gosh, you fool. But like, like I said, if you know Javi, you know, his joking mannerisms and he always makes the mood light and funny. And anyway, so we were both really happy and I was just like, Oh my gosh. I, I know I cried and I laughed and I was just like, oh, it was so beautiful.

And, you know, I really felt supported at that point. And once everything was said and done, like everybody just started cleaning up and then everybody laughed. And then it was just at first me, the nurse, my doula, Javi, and the baby. And then, you know, I think it was after that hour. Well, there was another nurse too, because she weighed Luke, um, after that, that hour.

And they weighed him and measured him and everything and he was perfect. Um, he latched right away. He was so alert. I was not expecting that because I've had three drugged up c section babies and they were all sleepy and not like that at all. Um, so it was very different. His eyes were wide open. He was like searching for the boob and oh gosh, yeah, it was perfect.

And then like Javi left to go get me food and my doula slept. Stay with me and was like, do you feel like you need help with latching? And I was like, no girl, I got this, but thank you. I felt so confident at that point and I just felt so good. I was like on this high, like I literally felt high. Like I, that is the best height.

You could ever be on, in my opinion. Ever. Ever, ever, ever. That, like, oxytocin is just surging through you and, like, it is so beautiful. And smelling all those bloody smells from Luke. I loved everything about it. It was intox intoxicating. So after Javi came back from getting me food, my doula stayed a little while, but I told her, like, hey, you can go home, like, We're good.

And at this point, I think it was like 11 at night. Cause I did have him at nine 12 PM. So yeah, she stayed till like 10 And, you know, I was like, go home, you know, like go get rest. We're good. And, yeah, then, uh, Javi stayed for a bit and then I told him, like, go home because we had our kids at home. And, gosh, was it my in laws that were at home with them or my mom?

I don't remember. So I told him, like, dude, just go home, be with the kids, I'll be fine, and I'll see you tomorrow. And... You know, he was fine with it, of course, because he's like, well, I know if you're telling me, like, you got this, that you'll be okay. I was like, yeah, like, don't worry about it. Yeah, I was, like, blissful.

I just kept staring at him, and it was amazing. And I was able to get up, like, right away, because I didn't have any IV fluids. I had literally nothing. Nothing. Actually, I lie. I think they put Pitocin in my leg, if I'm not mistaken, or my IV, I don't know, to help birth the placenta. I believe that's what happened.

I don't remember being asked about it, but I'm pretty sure that's what happened because that's like the norm. Anyways, so I was able to get up very quickly and go to the bathroom and everything, and oh my gosh, night and day difference, like c section to vaginal birth. I was able to walk comfortably. I mean, I was sore down there, you know, because I just birthed the baby out of my vagina, but you know, it was nothing compared to a c section.

And those peri bottles that you squeeze down there, like when you're peeing, amazing, amazing tip from the nurse that I would give to anybody, squirt the bottle. while you're peeing. It helps dilute your urine so it doesn't sting down there, especially if you tear. I did have a second degree tear, which they did stitch up.

Um, so that was a little uncomfortable, but besides that, I felt so good. So

anyways, there's, there's the story of my little V back baby, Luke, and he is now a year old, and thriving. I mean, it has been quite a journey. And this journey has catapulted me into mindset work and coaching and just all around helping women and moms and, you know, helping them Realize that you have options.

Just because they say you can't, doesn't mean you have to listen to the what they say. Because if I had listened to my doctors, which every single one of 'em, I think I saw eight or nine, every single one of them said, I can't. They told me I cannot do this. Because my baby will die, I will die because my uterus will rupture, and this is irresponsible, and don't I want a healthy baby, and all the language, all the fear mongering language.

And yes, I get that that's a real risk, but I think it's important to do your research because I did my research into the risks and benefits of not just feedback, but of a repeat c section. And to me, having a VBAC was way more, I was more okay with those risks than a repeat C section. Of course, if in an emergency situation, I needed a C section, if it's a true emergency, of course I would, you know, have, I would do that to save me or my baby.

But if that's not the case, but the point of me saying this is. You have options. Your doctor's word is not the final word. All of us are unique and we are going through unique situations. Our bodies are unique. Just because somebody had a uterine rupture doesn't mean that we will, you know, even if we've both had two C sections.

It just, you never know, and I think you have to be okay with that because there is so many unknowns when it comes to birth in general, and I don't know if you knew this or not, and I'm not saying this to scare you, but you can have a uterine rupture even if you've never had a C section. It's possible.

It's rare, but it is possible. So when your doctor says that a C section is safer than a vaginal birth, Sure, in some cases. It's that way, but it depends on the situation. It's, it's on a situational basis. You can't just blanket everybody into this one group because of one experience, you know, and it's not the doctor's choice.

Why would it be the doctor's choice? It's not their body. It's yours. So that's why the choice is yours. And, honestly, I wish I would have realized that sooner, because I feel like I had three unnecessary c sections, and I feel like I could have avoided them if I would have known my options, if I would have realized I didn't have to be a people pleaser, if I would have realized that there is not just one path to take.

There's many. There's countless, there's countless paths to take on this journey and your path and your journey are unique to you. The right way to do it is the way you choose. You choose, not them. They're not going to live with these choices. You are. Your doctor sees hundreds, hundreds of patients. Maybe monthly.

Who knows? Your birth is one workday to them. But your baby's birth is one day that you will remember for the rest of your life. You will remember this for the rest of your life and you will live with the decisions you make, not them. This is one work shift to them. Just remember that, okay? So just because they say you should, doesn't mean you have to.

Just remember that. All right, let me get off my soapbox. All right. If you have any questions or you want to learn more about my journey, then please don't hesitate to reach out to me. You can reach me on Instagram. I have the link in the show notes. Um, let me know what you thought about this and if this has helped you in any way, shape or form, because that's what I feel like I'm here for now.

I'm here to serve. I'm here to help you on this journey because it's not, it's not always an easy one and it helps to have somebody in your corner and I'm so ready. To be in your corner. Well, until next time, I will talk to you soon. I so appreciate you listening and if you enjoy any of these episodes or any of them really resonate with you, please just go ahead and go below and leave a review because You know, I feel like if this helped you, maybe it can help somebody else.

And when you leave reviews, that actually puts this podcast higher up in the queue. So it's easier for somebody to find time. I so appreciate you and we'll chat soon. Have such a beautiful day!