The Stigma and Reality of Pregnancy Loss
In this powerful episode, we delve into the deeply personal journey of Sharna Southan, a pregnancy loss practitioner, who shares her own experience with pregnancy loss and how it became a catalyst for raising awareness and providing support to others who have experienced loss.
Join us as we navigate the unspoken realities and stigma surrounding pregnancy loss, and discover the transformative impact of early education in reshaping societal perceptions.
This episode serves as a heartfelt reminder that no one should suffer in silence and that healing and support are within reach.
Here's some topics we touch on throughout our conversation:
✨ The silence and stigma surrounding pregnancy loss
✨ The impact of early education on understanding fertility and pregnancy
✨ Breaking the myth of personal failure and self-blame associated with pregnancy loss
✨ The role of community and support during the grieving process
✨ Sharna's program for women who have experienced pregnancy loss
✨ Insights into her pregnancy loss practitioner certification course
This episode brought my own experience to the surface that I didn't anticipate tackling.
Connect with Sharna ⤵️
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/instituteofhealing_pl/
Website: http://www.sharnasouthan.com/
Email: sharna@sharnasouthan.com
Transcript:
I am joined by Sharna Southan, and she is a certified trauma-informed coach, a mom to her rainbow baby, a business owner and wife, following her heart and soul into business after her own pregnancy loss in 2017.
Sharna firmly believes that our adversity gives us an opportunity to grow. She founded the Institute of Healing Through Pregnancy Loss, supporting lost parents with her transformative pregnancy loss recovery method, and teaching her signature pregnancy loss practitioner certification program. In April 2023, this educational program expanded to encompass trauma-informed care and nervous system regulation to offer deeper support to women navigating life after loss.
And there are more courses in the works charting uncharted territory when it comes to healing, recovery, and support after pregnancy, infant, or child loss. I mean, oh my gosh, that's beautiful. I love the work that you're doing. So if you would like to kind of introduce yourself a little bit, if there was some more that you wanted to add to that.
Yeah, it was definitely a lot, but it's actually like, like when you actually, when you were reading it back, I was like, oh wow, like I've actually done a lot since my experience. So, um, yeah, so my name is Shana and. I experienced a missed miscarriage in 2017. It was our first, um, our first pregnancy. So I thought, you know, after that.
It meant that I was never going to have children ever again, um, because it's just not spoken about. Pregnancy loss, I hadn't even heard of it in, you know, all of the years. I felt like I was living under a rock. I was like, why haven't I heard about this sooner? Like, why is it not spoken about more? Why, you know, one in four pregnancies end in loss.
So, why is it not spoken about? Um, and it wasn't until I started navigating my, my healing and recovery that people started coming out and talking about their experience and. You know, then I was searching for things that I needed in my healing that wasn't available. So I kind of just started creating things for myself and, um, realized as I was kind of coming out the other side, I'm like, I, I need to be this person.
Like I need to create this support because if I'm searching for it, there are other women out there searching for support too. And it's just not readily available. Um. So I just decided that's what, you know, my bigger mission was. I always knew I had a bigger mission in life. Um, my dad died when I was 19.
So at that point I had a lot of people coming to me and asking me how I was navigating, you know, the grief of losing a parent. And, you know, I'd had other life things sort of thrown at me, other curveballs. Each time some people were coming out and talking to me and going, asking me how I navigated it.
How did you do that? What did you do? So I always knew there was something bigger. I always had a gift that was bigger than a nine to five. Um, I was, I was a dental nurse. So I had a lot of people, or I actually had one patient, which I think was like the turning point for me to realize like what my actual gift was.
Um, she was really just anxious. In the dental surgery, and I gave her the space to be heard. I just let her tell me kind of what was happening, and I just reassured her, um, that she wasn't going crazy. Um, that she wasn't making it up, and everything she was feeling was completely valid. And she wrote a note to the surgery, saying that I was an asset.
Um, and I was like, okay. This is it. Like, this is my gift. I have to figure out something to do with this, um, but it wasn't until our miscarriage that I realized that was, that was how it was all going to play out. Um, and I was able to use everything that I have. Went through all of my experience and put it into a program where I could support other people, other women navigating that as well.
That is amazing. It, it just like gave me chills because you talking about it and hearing the passion behind your voice, like you found your calling, you found what you were meant to be for. And I mean, it. It's not amazing, you know, out of the space that it came out of, because of course that's so hard to deal with, but to be able to come out of that and help others in this amazing way, like what, do you have like a certain way that you go about helping people through this?
Um, so I started offering support the way that I needed it. I needed someone who could. I'm a very, um, hands on person. I need to be able to be given things to do for myself so that I can feel those transformations. I can feel things happening. I can't just have someone talking at me and sort of, I don't know, it just didn't work.
I needed to have something that I could hold onto and I could actually do. So the way that I started offering support when I first started. Um, my programs, I just kind of put something together because I was like, well, currently there's nothing out there that can offer support to loss parents. Um, there's therapy and counseling, um, which I had done, like, um, I went to a psychologist myself because I knew my mental health was declining after pregnant, my pregnancy loss.
And. I needed someone to talk to. But for myself, I walked away and I was like, there was always something missing. Things were falling apart in between each of my sessions. And each time I went back, I felt like each time I was at rock bottom and I was like, I don't know how to actually support myself outside in the real world.
And I don't want to have to keep going back to therapy years and years and years on end and not be able to. You know, and have therapy as a crutch. Like I didn't want that. I wanted to be able to support myself. I wanted to be able to heal myself. And so I was like, well, if that's what I want, I know that there's probably other women out there that want that for themselves too.
They don't want to have to keep reinvesting money into therapy and having to go to sessions. And, um, so that's how I created. The programs I created them so that they had tangible tools that they could walk away with, start implementing into their real life so that they, when they went out into, you know, cause I know how hard it was for me to leave the house.
I was afraid of someone talking to me and asking me questions and being triggered and spiraling out of control in a public setting. I was like, I don't know what to do if I was down the street and I wanted to cry. Um, because someone said something to me and then I wasn't equipped to, to process that. Um, so I, that's how I started creating the programs so that women could take what they were learning and start applying it into their lives like straight away, but also have my support.
24 7 like they had my support in their pocket if they needed it, um, which I found with my clients at the time at the beginning. That was what was making the like the huge shifts and transformations for them because they could actually proactively do something. They were being empowered. For themselves, they weren't having to rely on someone else to kind of fix them, like, because they always like when you go to therapy, it's always like there's something wrong with me, but they were given tools to empower themselves so they could feel that change.
Like happening in real time, and if they were to be triggered or, um, you know, feel like they were going to break down down the street because of something that someone said or something that they saw that they would have a tool in their tool belt or, you know, to actually. Help support themselves through that.
Um, so that they could allow themselves to, to fall apart in that moment if they wanted to, but in a safe place. So then they weren't feeling judged or, you know, yeah, like, like people looking at them going, Oh, my God, that, that woman's crazy. Like she's having a meltdown in the middle of the. Like middle of the street, but, um, so they were able to get sort of have different, a variety of different tools that they could sort of pull on and go, okay, this is this the environment that I'm in, this is the setting that I'm in.
This is the tool that I can use and it allows them to move through. The emotions, the sensations that are coming without having to dismiss them and ignore them, because I think a lot of the time, you know, people don't want to see someone upset. They want to. Kind of push that aside. Like you're not allowed to cry.
You're not allowed to break down. You're, you're just meant to be happy and smiley and, you know, put on a brave face. Like, we don't know how to deal with you when you're upset. So a lot of the time we, we push all of our heavy emotions aside and don't actually deal with them. But a lot of the time too, that's, it's not healthy for our bodies to do that, to keep pushing everything aside.
So we need to see them in that moment that they're coming up. But then it's like, how, how do I do that? How do I see them? How do I, what do I do? So, you know, this is what I give, that's what I gave my students, um, my, um, my clients when I was working one on one with them. And it's also now what I give my students, like inside of the practitioner program, they get all of that as well so that they can do it for themselves as well as learn how to do it for other people.
That's so needed because, like you said, we like, we stuff it down. And we don't deal with it because others don't know how to respond to us. They don't want to say the wrong things to us. Because, like you said, we don't talk about it. We just don't talk about pregnancy loss. And, you know, I've never really openly talked about my own losses.
Um, because for so long, it just ate at me. And I felt guilty. And I just feel all these emotions. And I didn't want anybody to feel bad for me. I didn't want anybody to blame me for what happened because it's your body. You know, this is my body that and I wasn't able to carry this life that my body should be able to carry.
So I know that I know how heavy that feels and You know, I don't know about you, and maybe we can kind of go back into your story, but mine happened before the six weeks mark, so I hadn't even told anybody yet. Um, so I held that inside of me, and I never let it out. And so I, it just ate at me and, you know, I feel emotional now talking about it, like, cause I don't know, I feel like you just carry that around unless you deal with it completely.
So how, how was that experience for you when you went through that? Like, had you guys announced it to family? Um, how was that? Yeah, so we did, um, we did announce it to our immediate family. I thought I was.
Because my period was so irregular, I didn't really know when, by the time I'd kind of missed it, I kind of wasn't really even thinking that I would be pregnant because it was just always so all over the place. Um, so by the time I figured out how, that we were pregnant and how long, like I should have been, I think it was about 10 weeks.
Like I worked out by the time we got to the ultrasound appointment, I figured. It would have been about 10 weeks. So it might've been about eight weeks by the time I figured out that we were pregnant. Um, and about 10 weeks by the time I went to the ultrasound ish. So we had started telling, we told my immediate family and when we went in for the ultrasound, they said that our baby had stopped growing at seven weeks.
So I was like completely obviously shattered, but then I walked away going, why didn't I know? Like I've been carrying my baby for three weeks by that time. Cause I kind of figured that out. I was about 10. So I'm like, I've been carrying my baby for three weeks and I didn't even know that it had passed away.
So I had a lot of shame and blame and guilt and everything that was, I was putting on myself because I should have known. I was its mom. Like, what did it? Why didn't I know? Why didn't I do something different? Like, you know, if I had have realized, maybe I would have done something different. But, you know, knowing now I look back and I'm just like, well, there's nothing, there's nothing I could have done that was different.
That would have stopped. My body from from doing what it did, but I think one of the hardest things was as well that I hadn't told work and I was like, I can't go back to work. I can't. I physically, mentally, emotionally can't go back. I being a dental nurse. I'm like, I can't focus. In the surgery, I can't like, I've got a lot of responsibility in there and I'm like, there's no way that I can mentally be present for my job when I was trying to navigate what was happening.
Um, so I had to ring them and tell them that I was pregnant, but I'd lost it. So I think that was like one of the hardest sentences I ever had to deliver to someone to explain to them why. I couldn't go into work to explain, you know, the reason, um, to also not allow them to get excited. So it was like, I don't want them to, I'm like, to deliver that sentence.
Like, I don't want them to go. I'm so like, I'm pregnant and then they get excited. And then I'm like, yeah, but I lost it. Um, I think as soon as they answered the phone, I just burst out crying. I don't even think I got the words out. initially, because I knew what I was going to say, but I couldn't get it out.
I was just, I was sitting in my car. I remember sitting in my car and just crying and telling, anticipating the, this, this sentence. Um, and when we told my mom that we'd lost it, like her reaction, like she just. let out this massive, like, wail of a cry. I was just like, I can still hear it. Like, I can still hear her going through that.
And, She, although it was really reassuring though, because in, in saying that she was able to tell other family that we had, that we had told. So I didn't have to do it myself, but when we fell pregnant the second time I did the exact same thing. I'm like, I wouldn't have changed anything because I needed the support.
If it was all going to hit the hip, like shit, hit the fan again, or I was going to need that support again. So. I, I personally don't believe in having to wait till the second trimester to tell anyone that you're pregnant, because when this happens, it is really, really difficult to harbor all of that inside of you and not have anyone know on the outside what's actually going on and trying to grieve in silence, trying to grieve by yourself and hold all of that shame and blame and guilt inside.
That it's so intense, like that, I played over the moment that I knew, I was like, I knew I lost my baby on the day that I went for a hot walk, a walk and it was a hot day and I was like, I did it. I went for a walk on that day and I, I caused it because my body overheated.
Like, was like this, I replayed every single day. I'm like, it was my fault. And to not be able to talk to anyone about it and not be able to have that support around you. Like I, I found it hard and I did have my, my mom and obviously my husband to talk to. And my in laws, but to not be able to do, not be able to have that support system, like, I think it would be really, really difficult.
Yeah, and I know it can be difficult to even bring that out to begin with, because, you know, like we're saying, there's a lot of shame. There's a lot of guilt, because, you know, we're meant to carry this baby and then give birth to this baby. So in our minds, we're like. Well, it's all my fault. You know, what did I do?
I took that hot walk on that hot day. And that's what did it. And you know, I get that because we replay every single thing that we ever did. And it's hard. It's hard because it's almost like you're going to like a hamster wheel. You're not getting anywhere, but you're just going on this wheel over and over again.
And Gosh, I'm so appreciative of you for even though you went through this really, really hard time, you came back to support people who went through it because you've been there and I mean, and supporting all these, you know, women through this. I just think it's so magical. And so how does the support look like?
Do you still do like you do like live calls with them and support them in that way? Like how exactly does that work? Yeah, so I still offer, uh, support to lost mums because obviously I do, I do understand that it's still needed. Um, so I have, uh, kind of like, like a hybrid program, so they're like online as well as live support calls for them.
Um, but the practitioner program is kind of set up very similar. So it's, um, it's a hybrid program where the. Bulk of the learning is online and then these students get live support calls each week as well as they're navigating the curriculum. Um, because for myself as well, like I've been inside so many different programs and.
I was like, I felt like I was falling through the cracks because maybe I wasn't as fast as someone else or maybe I wasn't as boisterous as someone else because I wasn't talking as much or as loud or as, you know. wasn't doing everything like so publicly. Like I'm a, I'm a very, um, I love to just, you know, head down, bum up, get stuff done, but not tell anyone about it.
I'm not the type of person that will, um, You know, post into a group every time I've done something or achieved something I was even at school, like I was always a silent achiever. So I was like, um, I did it at school and even when I was nominated for the Osmo entrepreneur award a couple of years ago now, my mom, my mom's like.
Um, I'd been nominated, so I was filling out the application and she's like, why didn't you tell me? I was like, well, I don't, I was just like, gonna go along my merry way and just do it. So I, she's like, you've got to tell me about stuff like this and. So it's, it's hard for me to, to do that. I feel like, um, I'll celebrate myself by myself.
I don't necessarily feel like I need to post everything publicly. And when you're in these big sort of programs, a lot of the time, they're the ones that get attention. They're the students that get the attention. And I often felt like I was falling through the cracks, but it felt. really, you know, against the grain for me to keep putting, you know, my hand up and saying, you know, I was doing this.
So I felt a lot of the programs lacked the support that I was needing. So then I created the program, the practitioner program around the type of support that I needed. Um, so the, the students get 24 seven access to, um, a private group, but they also get weekly support calls and they get lifetime access.
They can stay inside of that group for as long as they need, or as long as they want, they can finish the program. They can stay in there. They can leave. Um, they've always got, as long as they're inside of the group, they've got access to. The calls, and that's the same, you know, with the, the support that I offer the lost parents, because, you know, again, for me to feel what outside of like in my psychology, after this, my psychologist sessions, I felt like I was falling apart.
There wasn't support. So that's why I offer, you know, 24 seven support for them as well, because I'm like. If I needed it, they need it. Yeah, they might hit rock bottom the day after our session and they need that support there. And then they need someone to see them and hear them and, and pick them help pick themselves up.
So, you know, in the way that I offer that support, it's, it's something that I noticed was missing in terms of the way that I received support. So I'm just like, I'm not going to do it that way. I'm going to change it. And offer support the way that I needed it and, and know that no one's going to fall through the cracks.
Oh, that's beautiful. I love that because there's so many programs like you're saying and they offer like all these things. And I always feel like that one too. I'm not the one to always like raise my hand and comment on this post and comment, comment, comment. And I'm like the silent watcher. I just watch from behind the curtain.
Um, and then like, if I have a question, I'll be like, Oh, well, they asked the question. I'll just, you know, get my answer from that or whatever. So I get that. But I love that you're offering the support that us that kind of like to peek around the curtain need, especially like in this. I mean, this is a very sensitive subject, I feel like.
And, you know, nobody, nobody talks about it as openly as I feel like it should be, because people experience loss every single day. We just don't know about it. Like I, I'm sure that 99% of my family doesn't even know that I've been through this, you know, and now they're going to hear it for the first time on the podcast.
But, you know, that's just, that was my I guess my feeling like it didn't need to be talked about because nobody talks about it. And I didn't want to feel that shame. I didn't want to answer the questions because it still feels like a sore spot, you know. So, but I think that's incredibly needed and not just for the person experiencing the loss, but if they have a partner, you know, the partner's going through this loss too.
So I'm wondering, like, Is there a partner aspect that you kind of associate or, you know, incorporate with this program that you offer? I have had, um, so I get a lot of guest experts inside of the program as well. So I acknowledge my zone of genius and I know that there are other people out there that can offer so much as a, I guess, another piece to the puzzle as well.
And. I have had a guest expert. I've had a couple now. Um, I interviewed a man who supports other men grieving and he had gone through child loss himself. So, um, I have him in as a guest, a guest expert, and also a couple that came in as well. And they, um, gave both of their This sort of their sides to the story and how they both navigated the grief and how they both needed the support.
Um, in terms of men specifically, I haven't had any men sort of reaching out going. I need to either wanting to be a practitioner themselves or. Wanting support. I feel like maybe there is still a lot of that stigma around a man putting his hand up for support because there is that, you know, men have to, to be this.
Like strong pillar for the family and they can't fall apart. But, you know, I found in my experience that, you know, my husband didn't tell me till probably I was about six months pregnant with my, with our rainbow, how scared he was. So that was probably maybe close to a year after the loss. And. You know, and every man that I have interviewed has been very much along the same lines of like, I feel like I had to look after my wife first and I feel like I couldn't really share what I was feeling at the time because she was.
She was needing that. She was needing me to pick her up to do all of the rest of the things that she couldn't do. Then they tend to open up a little bit later, but they also open up in a way that's not the same as females do. So it's a really important awareness to have that men do actually go through all of this.
Grieving process as well. That is, it just it's different and, um, to have that awareness of how they actually process their emotions or what space that they need for their for them to experience their, their emotions, the sensations, how they want to talk and how they want to open up. Um, but it is really.
I mean, it's important awareness. That's why I've had the guest experts in, but I haven't actually had men that I've had to support myself through, through the loss. You know, I feel like in pregnancy, I mean, of course we're like the main attraction because we're the one, you know, carrying the baby, but I feel like so much, and I've noticed so much from, you know, all the talks that I've had with, you know, just anybody that's ever had a child, the man kind of gets put in the corner, sometimes figuratively and sometimes literally.
So, but, you know, I, I think that it's so important for, both people to heal together and to bring out those conversations, especially if you're going on to have more children or you plan to try to have children after that. Like, it's so important to have those conversations because, you know, we might, like you said, the man is always perceived to be the strong one.
He's like, you know, he's got to be that pillar. But he has emotions too, and he might not be dealing with them the same way we do, we might scream, cry, or, you know, have attitude, or whatever it is, and that's how we're, you know, letting those emotions out, but I've noticed, like, and my husband specifically, He just kind of clams up and he just keeps it inside of him.
Um, he doesn't outwardly express that type of sad emotion because he was brought up to be like, Oh God, guys don't cry. You know, they don't, they don't show emotion like that. That's only girls. So, but I think it's important to just bring up that conversation. You never know what's going to come about it, but it's good to just.
Talk it out. It might help because for me, it helped get that weight off of my chest because that's the way it felt. It felt like this weight was just on my chest and I didn't know how to get it off. And once I talked about it, especially out loud. I felt almost instantly better because it was, you know, my partner who helped me create this life that we no longer had, you know, I was able to then talk about my feelings and he talked about his or, you know, whatever.
So, gosh, I just. I hope that we are able to change this narrative in a way, I know it's going to take lots of work and probably lots of time and it still won't be what we imagine it to be, but at least in that direction, you know what I mean? Yeah, yeah, I absolutely like, I hope that when my daughter grows up, it'll be different.
Like the way that. It, loss is perceived and talked about, and there's no judgment from other people, um, no one trying to fix anyone, like, you know, allowing them to show their emotion, allowing them to talk about their experience. And with the men, like, you know, my husband cried the day that we found out.
That our baby had died, but from that moment there was, it was almost like he just like picked himself up and dusted himself off and I was like falling apart and he felt like he had to be that person that was all together. So even for, for men to have that. Stigma broken, like to go, okay, you're allowed to actually show emotion.
It's okay. Like my, my husband's very much like yours, like bottles everything up until one day it explodes and you're like, oh my gosh, where did that come from? But it's like a culmination of like months or years of suppressed and repressed emotions and experiences. But I also feel like that's. That tends to be a common thread though, like for men, like I'll just, I'll deal with this myself.
Um, I don't need to talk to anyone else. about what I'm going through. So I think, you know, for have like, when we're going through these, these tough experiences to have open up a, like a safe place for, for both of you to talk. And even if it's just one person that talks for the majority of the time, they know that that's the place that they can talk if they want to.
And they can, and it's, and it's safe and there's going to be no judgment. And whatever is said in that moment doesn't have to go past that moment. It can just be like a locked box, you know, outside of that. You know, our or whatever, nothing else is mentioned in relation to that, but yeah, I'm hoping, like you said, it's going to take a lot of time and energy and advocating on our part, but I hope that it does change in the years to come.
Yeah, and I really feel that because like, I have three daughters and you know, I would. Maybe, you know, they'll grow up and have children of their own and who knows, you know, we never know what life is going to throw at us and I have a son and, you know, I would hope on the opposite side of that, I wouldn't want him to go through something like that in silence, you know, I don't think it's healthy for any of us to go through that in silence because why, you know, why are we going to keep this swept under the rug?
Like, it's not a shameful thing to have happen. It's, yeah. I mean, it's a normal thing that happens in life because, you know, nobody can really control it. We can't, we don't have like a crystal ball. So I think we just got to get that out there and just talk about it more. So it's, and I, I don't want to make it seem like I'm glorifying pregnancy loss, you know, like it's not something we want to go through or talk about, but it's something that realistically happens.
So. I think just getting it out there. And it's not like, you know, What they told, what you told in school, like, you know, you'll, you know, have sex and fall pregnant, like it doesn't happen like that. And I think that's where, you know, we get that, I, that idea of how pregnancy works and then all of a sudden it doesn't go that way.
So then all of a sudden then it's your fault because it didn't go that way. Your body has one job and it didn't do that. And that's where a lot of that. Like you said, that narrative, like we're told that from such a young age, you know, how it should work. Um, and then when it doesn't go that way, you're like, Oh, I can't, because it didn't go the way that I was told it should.
I can't talk about it because it, that's wrong. And so I feel like even the education around loss should be maybe even started earlier. Um, you know, around when you, you told it like sex, sex education. You know, that it doesn't necessarily happen that way and also, you know, people going, Oh, just relax. It'll happen.
And you're like, well, that's not really helpful either. So, you know, um, there's a lot of education that we could probably add a lot of different ways that we can start bringing the conversation in and just sort of mentioning it, mentioning that, you know. about pregnancy loss, about stillbirth, about, you know, and it doesn't necessarily go the way that, you know, you just don't get, you just don't have sex and fall pregnant.
It doesn't happen that way for a lot of people. It happens that way for the majority, but for, for a lot, like it doesn't, doesn't happen that way. And, um, I think that story, that narrative does need to change from an earlier point, rather than going through the experience and having. Like feeling your heartbreak and your whole world turn upside down.
And at that point then going, okay, now I've got to pick up the pieces. But maybe if we had education first and then we might be equipped. With something, we might be equipped with some tools that we can help ourselves with, you know, if the worst case scenario happened, I don't know, maybe, maybe I'm hoping for too much, but I'm like, I feel like it should, um, possibly even start before we're trying to heal, like the aftermath, like preparing ourselves, not that you can ever be prepared for loss, but having some tools, you know, like having an awareness, having some tools that we can go, Oh, okay.
So I was taught this and having that emotional intelligence as well, where you can start to process your emotions and know that it's okay to feel them. Um, because I think that's a lot of the thing too. Like we get told that we can't feel our emotions. So. I don't know, preparing ourselves a bit earlier in that way.
Yeah, or at least, you know, acknowledging the fact that, or just bringing up the fact that, not everybody does get pregnant on the first try, and you know, just the fact that that's real life. And so, I do have a question for you, and the reason why I ask this question is, not to Make you spiral into what could I have done, but I asked this question because you know, it might help somebody bring up a conversation.
They might not have thought about or what have you. So I like to ask, you know, if you were to have like a redo of this experience that you went through, is there anything that you would have changed along the way? I think maybe I could have given myself a little bit more, um, compassion rather than, I mean, apart from the way that I navigated it, I still, I feel like I, I did a good job.
I feel like I allowed myself to sit with the emotions and really, um, process my mental health and physical health because I was very much our mental and physical health is so interconnected. But I think at the beginning stages, not blaming myself so much, not going so hard on myself and telling myself that I was unworthy.
I was an unfit, unfit to even be a woman. Like I was questioning everything about my womanhood and maybe just, yeah, showed myself a little bit more compassion because I think that was the hardest thing for me was that. Uh, you know, of course it happened to me, everything wrong happens to me, like every, everything that's weird or wrong or silly or whatever it happens to me, like it'll find a way and it will happen to me.
Yeah. So I feel like, um, just sort of taking that element out of it and allowing my, myself and my body to just maybe have a little bit more peace as I was. Trying to process what was going on, because you're trying to navigate the grief and the experience and you don't need that overshadowing blame and shame that you put on yourself.
Yeah. Well, I appreciate your transparency on that. Like, it's so hard. I feel like we're our own worst enemy. Like, we're our own worst critic. You know, nobody's going to talk to us the way we talk to ourselves in our minds. And I think, you know, just being kinder to ourselves, like, you know, just think about when I say this to somebody else that's going through this, just take a second thought on that.
Uh, so I would love it if you would let me know the best way to connect with you for people that want to get into your program or just have a chat with you. Um, so I would say my Instagram would be the first point of call, which is just, um, at institute of healing underscore PL. Um, otherwise you can check out my website, which is Sean at www.
sharnasouthern. com. Um, I have a lot of. What I do on there, uh, a lot of the, all the programs that I offer on there as well. Um, but in terms of just wanting to open up the conversation, I am most active on Instagram. So you can find me over there and I believe Instagram is. It's like an extension of me, of what I find valuable, of, you know, things that, you know, pop into my head.
So definitely find me over there. Beautiful. And of course, I'll stick all that information in the show notes. And I just wanted to say, is this your rainbow baby that came and popped onto your lap? Yeah. Hi, sweetheart.
All right, well, I will let you go, but thank you so much and congratulations on everything, your beautiful baby and all this work that you're doing. I love it so much. Thank you. Thank you so much for having me and for allowing me to talk about it as well.
