28. How to find a doula that aligns with your beliefs and values
In today's solo episode, we're diving deep into the essential topic of finding the perfect doula for your birth journey.
Here's an overview:
Understanding the significance of aligning values and beliefs with your support team.
Envisioning your ideal birth – a crucial step in shaping your birthing experience.
Tips for conducting meaningful interviews with potential doulas.
Demystifying the world of doula certifications and what they truly mean for your choice.
Choosing the right support – how to make the decision that resonates with your birth desires.
Unleashing the power of connection and its impact on your birth journey.
The role of communication and gut feelings in selecting the doula who's the perfect fit for you.
Get ready to embark on a journey of self-discovery and empowerment as we explore the key factors to consider when choosing a doula.
Whether you're a first-time parent or a seasoned birther, this episode will give you valuable insights to help you make an informed and confident decision.
Connect with me, Petra ⤵️
Instagram:@birthing_come_true
Facebook: Birthing Come True
Website: Birthingcometrue.com
Email: Petra@birthingcometrue.com
Don't forget to subscribe to the Birth Junkie Podcast for more empowering conversations and insights on all things birth-related.
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Let's Connect!
✨ The Birth Junkie Website: www.birthingcometrue.com/thebirthjunkiepodcast
✨ Follow me on Instagram: @thebirthjunkiepodcast and @Birthing_Come_True
✨ Free Discovery Call: Book Now!
✨ Birth Education Course: The Sacred Birth Academy
Resources:
Free Overcome Your Birth Fears Workbook
Free 60-minute Painless Birth Video Workshop
✨ Check out the transcript here! How to find a doula that aligns with your beliefs and values
✨ If you’d like to be a guest: Fill this out!
✨ A topic you’d like for me to dive into: Fill this out 😊
I'd so appreciate it if you'd rate and review this show wherever you're listening from. I'm grateful you've taken time out of your day to listen, thank you!
Transcript:
I want you to get ready to embark on a transformative journey, where there's no more suffering in silence, no more conforming to outdated societal norms. This is the podcast where we dare to crush those societal expectations and embrace the realities Of pregnancy and parenthood with one honest conversation at a time.
It's time for us to rise above the shadows and ignite a movement towards a happier, more fulfilled world for every parent and child. If that's you and you're ready to challenge the status quo and embark on this incredible journey with me, then I'd like to welcome you to the Birth Junkie Podcast. So today I wanted to talk to you about what I feel is most important when looking for doulas.
Because these are some of the things that I really wish that I would have honed in on a little bit better when I was looking for my own doula. And also what I wish that some people would think about when they're looking for their doula. And I'm not saying that my doula that I had was not great. She was amazing.
But you know, there are certain things that I just wish I would have had out there beforehand. So when looking for a doula, the first thing that I think is really important is to find somebody that aligns with your values. Because you are going to be going through a super intimate, like this, this experience you're going to is super intimate, it's super personal, and so I really want you to envision your birth, envision your birth exactly the way you want it to unfold.
If it's a home birth, picture that now. Picture what you want. Do you want candles? Do you want affirmation cards hanging? Do you want your mom by your side, your husband, your doula? What do you want them to be doing? Do you want them squeezing your hips, giving you water? Do you want them encouraging you with words or do you want them to just be quiet?
So literally envision everything and envision how you want to feel during that birth. You want to feel confident. You want to feel supported. You want to feel loved. Think about those feelings. Once you're done envisioning your birth, I want you to think about how exactly you want your doula to support you.
So do you want your doula to be there just in case? Do you want her sitting by the sidelines, you know, whatever that may look like. And When you do end up having this interview with your doula, because typically before you hire a doula, you have like what's called an either an interview or a consult before you hire them.
And so you're going to sit with this person either on zoom or in person. I suggest in person. It's more personable. You can feel there's like energetic transfers happening. I really believe in energetic energy transfers. So. I suggest in person if you can, um, especially if you're going to be supported in person by this person.
So you really should ask them how they view birth and you know, that might tell you a lot right there because they might say, I believe in your power to birth your baby without any medical interventions. I think that you have the power within you. You don't need me. You don't need anybody like I'm just there just in case you want or need me.
So if their response is like that and that feels really good to you, then be like, okay, yeah, that's, that's gonna get a conversation flowing. And then you could also hear that very same statement, depending on what your values and beliefs are, and be like, ugh, I don't want that. Like, I want a person who wants to be in the hospital with me.
I want her to suggest an epidural when she thinks I need one. Which, you know, doulas are not there to suggest, um, interventions really, they're there to help support you in what you want, not to help suggest you in a certain way, um, because ultimately everything is your decision and we're not medical providers, we're just there to be emotional, physical support.
Whatever type of support you need, her values align with yours and ask as many questions as you want to. And you also don't have to just talk about your birth. You can talk about anything else. You can say, Hey, what made you get into this, into this line of work? And you know, you might get a sense of who they are from that.
And when your doula is answering you, whatever the answer may be, I really want you to focus on how they're responding to you. Okay. Listen very closely because this can also help you see if that doula will not only respect your choices, but also offer guidance that resonate with you. So. I want you to really hone into that.
Just pay attention to body language, but also know that a doula might be nervous because we do this so often. We have so many different interviews that we go on. We selling ourselves, you're hiring us based off of who we are as a person. So sometimes that is a little nerve wracking, you know, when you're going into this.
Every time we go to a consult, we're opening ourselves up completely and it can be, it can be a little nerve wracking, like I said. You know, and for some, but not all, not all doulas are that way. So I also want to emphasize the fact that experience and training don't necessarily matter. And what I mean by that, so It doesn't really matter what doula certification they have, okay, because free certifying body for doulas are not regulated, so they're all different.
Like, I could go right now and go make a doula certification program right now. And, you know, that certification program would be done by how I want it to. It's not regulated by anything or anybody. So do not put emphasis on that, please. Just don't focus on how many births a person has attended, okay?
Because that could also bring about more biases, because they could be like, I'm not going to go deep. I'm not going to go deep into that, but it could just, just don't focus on that number. Okay. Just make sure that if you do hire somebody that's not attended a birth or not attended many births, really emphasize on how you want to be supported.
Okay. So that they can tailor the support to you exactly. And it doesn't matter about previous births because, you know, they could have never attended a Vaginal birth, all of their births could have been, um, planned c sections or, you know, vaginal births that went into c sections. You never know. Okay. I really want you to just focus on the power of connection.
Do you feel a connection with this person? And do you feel like they are going to support you the way that you want to be supported? And that looks different for everybody. It's not going to look the same for you as it, as it did for me, right? So I want you to really think about that and also Um, or ask your doula, do they have a backup doula?
And not all doulas do have a backup doula because you know, they may not want to because they want to make sure that they're just, you know, you're supported by them period. And they might have in their contract, like, if I get sick, I'm just not going to attend your birth. And, you know, that person would have to be okay with that.
And if you're not okay with that. Then move on to somebody that has backup doulas, because not everybody does, okay, and then if they do have a backup doula, I do suggest that you either meet that person, or at least know of them, so that, you know, it's not just like a complete stranger coming into your birth, unless you're totally okay with that, you know, everything is an individual choice.
What is right for you, what you're comfortable with is not what's comfortable or right for me. So you just never know. But the, the main thing is communication. Always be 100% honest with everything, even if it feels weird or like awkward. Because you don't want to go, you know, you're, you're with this person for your pregnancy and then you get to the birth and you're like, this is not what I want.
That's, that's not the time to figure that out because you're going to be in labor land. So, figure that out beforehand. Have an open line of communication and nothing is off limits, you know, because this is like a relationship, you know It's a very intimate relationship Ultimately at the end of the day trust your instincts go with your gut.
What is your gut telling you? Is your gut telling you like, oh, I don't know if this is right. Maybe you should listen doula
We had a consult. She said, you know, let me know within seven days. That'd be great. Whatever. So that was on a I don't know It was on a Thursday or a Friday when we had our consult and then that Saturday we went to this Trampoline park and we saw her there and I had told my husband like my huh? Okay, so my husband was super like, oh, I don't know like what even is a doula?
that's a lot of money, you know just on and on about it and I told him, I mean, I understand because we were tight on money anyways, we had just moved and, um, our rent was triple what we were used to paying, so it was really tight and we didn't know about like BeHerVillage, which could help, you know, we would register and pay for our support services.
So anyways. We ended up seeing her that weekend, and you know, I'd never seen her in my life, and we, so we never go to this trampoline park, like, we've gone a couple times, and then we went that weekend for like a party or something, and I seen her there, and I was like, okay. That was a sign. That was a sign that we should go with her.
And so I hired her and, you know, she supported me and it was the most amazing experience ever. And so just go with your gut, you know, and I'm a person who trusts like, uh, signs. I'm a big signs person. So that was our sign. That was our sign to hire her. And so if you're that type of person, just trust that unseen, uh, gravitational pull, if you will.
Um. Trust that gut feeling just because that could be the right decision. So, anyways, if you want to chat more about hiring a doula, please let me know. If you want me to go a little more in depth and give you like a list of actual questions you can ask your doula, then let me know. Send me a DM on Instagram at @birthing_come_true.
Or, you can go ahead and leave it in the comments and I will also drop a couple links down below so you can connect with me further.
Oh my gosh, I feel so honored that you took the time out of your busy day to listen to that episode. I really hope that you liked it or something resonated with you or you learned something new today. Make sure to hit subscribe so that you don't miss an episode and if you'd like to connect with me Go ahead and go to the show notes and click the link.
I'd love for you to rate and review this show That helps more people see this show when they're searching. Thank you so much, and I hope you have a beautiful day I will see you next week
